


Tumblr Posts, etc

by B_Frizzy



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2018-10-18 05:06:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 25,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10609863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Frizzy/pseuds/B_Frizzy
Summary: a collection of writing I've posted on tumblr, in no particular order. Each chapter has the prompt/summary





	1. Sometime in the future... …when Dex realizes he’s not poor anymore.

“can we get a headboard, too?”

Dex hated that voice. It was a voice he hadn’t heard come out of his mouth in a long time, since before him and Nursey got married, before they graduated, before he started seeing a therapist. It was a voice that said, ’a no would break me’ underneath the real words of his question.

It was how he used to ask for hugs, and how he asked, three months into their fuck-buddy relationship, for Nusey to please stay the night, just once, nobody ever stays.

Nursey gave him a long, appraising look, but Dex knew he wouldn’t ask why, all of a sudden, Dex sounded so unsure of himself. Just like Dex knew, eventually, he’d tell Nursey why something so silly as a headboard was so important to him.

He gave a small smile instead, kissed Dex’s cheek, and said, “That’s chill.”

They got out of their truck, a purchase that Nursey made without Dex because he knew his husband could never justify the price to himself, even though they could afford it a hundred times over. Between Dex’s NHL salary and Nursey and Lardo’s line of children’s books, there wasn’t really anything they couldn’t afford.

Which is why Dex hated how small and broken his voice sounded when he asked if they could buy a headboard.

With the new contract Dex signed, finally featuring a no trade clause, they decided to buy a house. Nursey went all out; he spent weeks touring places, picking out furniture, and giving Dex the silent treatment (apparently ‘whatever you want’ isn’t the right answer). The only thing left was a new mattress.

They saved it specifically for a week when Dex didn’t have any scheduling conflicts. He tried to tell Nursey that it was fine, he could go ahead and buy one without Dex there, but he refused, insisting that a mattress was an individual experience, both of them had to agree.

They both knew that, in the end, Dex wouldn’t have an opinion. A bed was a bed to him, and any bed was better than no bed. It felt nice to have a full day with his husband, though.

They stood in front of a huge mattress store, and for some reason, Dex felt uncertain. There was something about this, buying a bed, that made everything real to him. He was an adult. He was well off financially. And he was about to walk into a store hand in hand with his husband. And he was happy.

He wasn’t the angry kid from Maine, anymore.

A saleswoman nearly a foot shorter than the couple (call me Cici!) dragged them all over the store, practically pushing them down on mattresses and asking about their firmness. She asked about hteir opinon on memory foam versus tempurpedic, about fabrics and springs and coils and all sorts of questions Nursey has answers for that Dex can’t make heads or tails of.

He zones out a bit, but jumps back into the conversation when the topic of temperature comes up (so, are you two warm blooded or do you use a lot of blankets at night?). He had no idea that they made some mattresses cooler than others, but yes they wanted to try those out, because his husband is a furnace and the three stupid cats Nursey snuck home were like little fuzzy ovens.

So, they go to the other side of the store and try out hybrids (of what, Dex really couldn’t say). Without even trying it out, Nursey pointed at one of the set-ups and declared, “it’s going to be this one.” Dex had to admit that it was pretty comfortable. He didn’t feel like he was sinking into the mattress, which was nice. 

Nursey clamored on top, cuddling into Dex’s side with a smug grin. “Told you it was this one.”

Still grinning, Nursey asked Cici, “Can you show us some headboard options?”

There was an entire room of them. Bed frames and headboards and footboards. Big quilted ones that Dex thought would go great in his baby sister’s princess room, studded leather ones, wrought iron frames that looked a little too bondage for Dex’s comfort.

Dex wasn’t sure what his face was doing, but Cici told them quietly that she would give them a few minutes to look around, even though she had been attached at to their side for the hour they had been in the store.

They wandered around, looking at all the choices. Dex knew he held Nursey’s hand a little too hard, but Nursey didn’t say anything. He let Dex take the lead, inputting his opinion but never tryng to influence Dex, never pushing him to talk about it.

They made two circuits of the room before stopping (for the second time) in front of a simple padded headboard. It wasn’t anything fancy, just smooth, cream colored fabric. Dex ran a finger over the display. It was softer than it looked.

“I don’t understand headboards. Or footboards. They’re totally pointless.”

In the past, that may have been an invitation for Nursey to chirp Dex, to ask what the hell they were doing buying one if Dex thought it was pointless. But after so many years together, Nursey knew Dex needed to talk it out, not have a conversation.

“Did you know that before I went to Samwell, I never slept in a real bed?”

“I didn’t, babe.”

Dex never took his eyes off the headboard. “For a while I had a matress thrown on the floor in me and Adam’s room, but then I gave it to Hannah and I started sleeping on some sleeping bags on the floor. I told myself it was like camping. Even when I imagined my house, I never imagined a having a real bed. What’s the piont of buying something that’s totally pointless? It’s just a waste of money.”

Nursey ran a warm hand up and down Dex’s back. Dex rarely talked about his childhood. It was one of the only things they still faught about sometimes: Nursey taking their money for granted and Dex not being able to accept that he can spend money when he wants to. 

“But we can buy this. We can buy something that’s totally pointless, just because I want it.”

It wouldn’t match the room, even a little bit. The whole house was stark greys and bright whites, accents of bright colors. The cream fabric would stick out like a sore thumb. It was meant for a softer house. There was something about it that Dex like, though. He couldn’t put his finger on what, exactly, but he loved it.

“What do you think?”

Nursey didn’t bother to look away from Dex when he answered. “I think it’s great, babe. It’ll look good in the bedroom.”

Dex gave him a hard look. “really.”

“Okay, no. but if you like it, then I couldn’t care less.”

And just like that,they bought it. And later that night, in their brand new bed, in their house (their house, not a house they were renting), Dex slept better than he could ever remember sleeping.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how about that one time Jack hooked up with Holster and Ransom after a game??

Jack, Ransom, and Holster all have one thing in common:

they LOVE the game. they get a huge adrenaline rush just from being on the ice, from facing down other players. Win or lose, it doesn’t matter. Sure, obviously everyone loves playing hockey or they wouldn’t be doing it, but to Jack, Ransom, and Holster, it’s like some sort of addiction. It’s a high.

and sometimes people do weird things when they’re high. (NSFW under the cut)

-Like that time Ransom and Holser stayed behind at Faber after everyone left so that Ransom could suck his cock in the middle of the locker room. They had quick locker room sex before, exchanged hand jobs and quick blow jobs in the shower stalls, but never out in the open. It was a rush, and on top of the high of winning a game at home… fucking magnificent.

-Like when Jack walked in on them and he couldn’t look away. Ransom’s enthusiasm and that look on Holster’s face. Jack knew, intellectually, that they were both beautiful men. It wasn’t until that moment that he recognized that they were downright sexy, too.

-Like when Holster caught Jack staring, watching them with a look Holster had never seen on his face, but damn did he want to see more. Holster wasn’t usually big on exhibition or having sex in public (those were both Ransom’s kinks), but seeing Jack watching them like they were the most attractive thing he’d ever seen… he almost came on the spot. But he didn’t

-Like when Holster tapped on Ransom’s shoulder and pointed out their audience. Jack was blushing a deep red, but he still hadn’t walked away. And he hadn’t taken his eyes off the spot that Ransom’s mouth used to occupy Holster’s thick cock now on display for him to see.

-Like that time when Ransom grinned a wicked grin and beckoned their captain over, then encouraged him to get on his knees in front of Holster, too.

-Like when Ransom whispered in Jack’s ear exactly how to drive Holster crazy, where to touch and how to lick.

-Like that time Holster came all over Jack’s face

-Like that time they all showered together to wash off the cum and Jack blew Ransom, too

-Like that time Jack nearly blacked out from how hard he came, between Ransom’s sure hand and Holster’s thick fingers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did this in a rush on mobile. I'm planning to go back and edit/extend this a bit... one day


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> from @omgitsnursey: YO nurseydex "nice. great. perfect. fuck this." or holsom "quit it or ill bite"

Dex was not having a good day. At all. In fact, it was decidedly bad.

The worst part was that there wasn’t anything especially horrible that happened. It was just a unch of small things, all at once. First he forgot his bio lab in his dorm, after he spent all night working on it, and the TA wouldn’t accept it late. The strap of his bag broke, and yeah, he’d been using the same one since his junior year in high school, but he had budgeted to buy a new one next month.

In an effort to make his day a little brighter, Dex decided to stop at Annie’s and splurge on himself. Bitty got him hooked on their stupid hazelnut mochas, but he rarely spent the money on himself. He barely got a sip before he spilled it all over shoes.

So, yeah, everything sucked. None of it was life-shattering bad, though, which just pissed him off more.The only thing he had to look forward to was the fresh lemon bars that he knew Bitty had set aside for him. And maybe, just a little bit, he was looking forward to the Haus, too.

He wasn’t sure when it happened, but sometime between his first semester and his third, Dex started thinking about the Haus as home. It was nothing like his actual home, back in Maine. His house was always quiet and pristine.

The Haus, though. It was always loud and messy, full of people and the weird combination of fresh pie and microwave corndogs. Some part of it reminded him of life before Michael signed his enlistment papers (and his death warrant). A little bit of that tension he’d felt building between her shoulder blades for years eased when he walked into the Haus.

Yeah, the day sucked, but he had that, at least. The only bad thing about the Haus was the Nursey seemed to love being there just as much as Dex, and what he could put his finger on exactly was when he fell head over heels in love with Nursey. After a grueling practice one morning, they changed, like usual, in the locker room. But for the first time, Nursey noticed the small tattoo Dex had tucked under his bicep. He got this overjoyed look on his face, more excited than Dex had ever seen him look before, and that was it. That was the moment when Dex realized he was in love.

Dex hated it. He didn’t want to fall in love. He wanted to go to school, graduate as soon as humanly possible, and make as much money as humanly possible. No feelings, no drama. Hockey was his backup plan, and that’s it. No time for love, or dating, or feelings of any kind.

Among other things, it messed with his game, which means messing with his plan B. Every time he looked at Nursey, he got stupid fluttery feeling, which made him angry, which made him lash out. Lashing out ruined any sort of friendship they had, which made him even angrier. And that, all of that, translated to how they played together on the ice.

Usually, he could hide the stupid hurricane of emotions he felt whenever he saw Nursey, but he was having a bad day. He wanted the weird peace the Haus gave him and he wanted lemon bars, and nothing else.

Dex especially didn’t want to watch Nursey flirting with his stupid peer review partner. So, when he walked into the Haus and saw just that, he couldn’t help his outburst.

“Nice. Great. Perfect. Fuck this,” and walked out.

The fucking lemon bars could wait. They could barely make up for his already shitty day, let alone make up for all of the shitty things he would feel having to sit through a forced conversation with Nursey.

He barely made it four houses down frat row when he heard steps running after him. Dex didnt have to look back to know that is was Nursey. He didn’t bother to slow down.

“Dex, hold up. Dex, wait.” A warm hand clapped on his shoulder, just this side of too hard. “Dude, fucking stop.”

Dex stopped with a sigh. He turned, and seeing Nursey’s stupid face didn’t do anything to help. His stomach swooped and it made him a whole new level of angry.

“What do you want, Nursey?”

“I want to know what the fuck your problem is.” There was a look in those green eyes that Dex had never seen before.

Something in Dex broke. Any somewhat reasonable answer was a lie. It wasn’t anything that contributed to his bad day that was the problem. It wasn’t even the bad day. It was everything, all at once. It was all his stupid feelings. That was the real answer, the answer he was sick of not giving.

“What’s wrong with me is that my socks are sticking to my shoes, since I spent money I don’t have on a coffee I spilled straight away. My problem is that I needed my bag to last until next month and I broke it today. My problem is that my dick lab TA refused to take my report late, so the highest I can get in the class onw is an 89.

“My problem, Nursey, is that every time I walk into the Haus and see you flirting with whatever his name is, I don’t know if I’m more mad at him for being your type or at myself because I’m not. And my problem is that more and more I don’t know if I want to punch your stupidly beautiful face or kiss it.”

He noticed that Nursey’s hand was still on his shoulder. Some time during his incredibly ill-timed speech, he had taken several half-steps forward and was now well into Nursey’s personal space. Dex couldn’t help but look at Nursey’s face. He expected anger or maybe that same odd expression from earlier, but the small smile was a surprise.

Dex felt Nursey’s hand slide carefully down his arm, slipping solidly into his own. “You think my face is beautiful?”

Just like that, the day was forgotten. All the crap fell away and it was just stupid chirps and cute smiles and a warm hand. “Shut up, you know you’re cute.”

“Oh, no. You can’t downgrade me from beautiful to cute like that.”

Dex took another small step forward, close enough that their shirts brushed against each other. “Fine, you’re beautiful. Now, can I kiss you while I still feel like it?”

He got a small nod.

The kiss wasn’t spectacular. It wasn’t fireworks. Dex’s shoes still squelched and his shoulder was sore, but it was exactly what he wanted. And it was perfectly them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anon: "quit it or I'll bite" with Nurseydex

The best things about playing hockey with your boyfriend:

1) the chemistry. Dex always knew where Nursey was. Nursey always knew where Dex was. They had a bond that was undeniable

2) all the time they got to spend together. If Dex were dating anyone else, between classes and hockey, he wouldn’t get to spend nearly as much time as he did with Nursey, who he shared practices and roadies with.They understood the stresses of each others’ schedules because they were the same.

3) having someone there when he got hurt. Hockey was violent, injury was expected. That didn’t make it any easier. Having someone there to help you did help, though.

At least, that was what Dex expected. His concussion wasn’t bad. He didn’t necessarily need help, but that little part inside of him who still begged for mommy when he got a cold was happy with the idea of Nursey taking care of him through it.

As it turned out, though, Nursey’s bedside manner left a lot to be desired, in the exact opposite way Dex expected. If anything, Dex thought that Nursey would be too aloof, dismissive of Dex’s requests. Maybe that Nursey would use them as ammo for chirps.

But no. Nursey hovered. He was constantly there, always looking for something else to do, some way to ‘help’ Dex. And, yeah, one of the things Dex liked about playing hockey with Nursey was the time they got to spend together, but there was also such a thing as too much time together. For nearly a week straight after his injury, they were practically attached at the hip.

The worst thing, though, wasn’t the hovering. It wasn’t the weird pain diary Nursey was forcing him to keep. It wasn’t even the constant arguments about whether or not Dex could go to class by himself. No, the worst was Nursey’s obsession with feeding Dex.

It made a sort of sense for Nursey to feed him when Dex still saw fireworks behind his eyes anytime he tried to push himself too hard. But that wasn’t long, a couple days, at most. A week was pushing it, and driving Dex insane.

After a particularly tough day eight of his concussion, he just wanted to cuddle his boyfriend and watch a stupid movie without being force-fed whatever Nursey had in reach. He didn’t care what he had eaten that day, he wasn’t counting his calories, but apparently Nursey did and was. Nursey kept trying to shove those disgusting gummy candies Nursey loved so much in his mouth.

“Nursey, stop.”

The only response was another slice of gummy pizza landing in his open mouth. Dex resisted the urge to spit it back at Nursey, who took that as acceptance that he wanted another. That one, Dex did spit out.

Nursey’s eyebrows shot up. “Eat the pizza, Dex.”

“No.”

Nursey rolled them so that he was crouched over Dex on the small dorm bed. He put on his best hockey face on, failing to look intimidating when his cheeks bulged a little with candy. Dex clamped his mouth shut, trying to defend himself against the gummies that Nursey was persistently trying to smoosh into it.

“Eat. The. Candy. Dex.”

“Quit it or I’ll bite.” Before he could respond, Dex added, “Not in the fun way. In the painful way.”

Dex snapped at his fingers to prove his point. With a sigh, Nursey relented, but there was something more to it. He seemed to wilt a little, resting back on his heels, though careful not to settle too much weight on Dex’s thighs or knees.

Nursey dumped all the candies on Dex’s bedside table. With his now free hand, he carefully cradled Dex’s face, thumb brushing his cheekbones, the place Dex knew was a nasty yellow color from where he hit the boards.

Dex realized that, for the first time, Nursey was actually reacting to his injuries. He wasn’t focused on how Dex was feeling, or what doctor’s orders were, or how to be the best boyfriend cum nursemaid he could be. Just that the person he loved was laying before him, injured.

His expression was heartbreaking.

That expression, the look in Nursey’s eye, said more than the man would ever say by himself. All the mothering Nursey was doing was just as much for his benefit, as Dex’s. Nursey was terrified of Dex being hurt the way he was. He was angry that he couldn’t have done anything on the ice to prevent it from happening. He was upset that his attempts to help were more annoyances than actual help.

With a sigh, Dex grabbed one of the fallen candies from his sheets and popped it in his mouth. It tasted plasticky and he hated it, just like he hated every other junk food his boyfriend made him eat the past week, but. But he could deal with it for a little while longer, if that’s what it took to make Nursey happy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 12 Days of Check, Please! Christmas  
> days 6-8: lending a coat/scarf; building a snowman/snowball fight; watching holiday movies with hot cocoa

“Daaaaaaddy!”

Ransom looked down at his daughter and couldn’t help but smile. It felt like that was all he had done since they had adopted Ruby. Her constantly frizzy hair (he was trying to get better at doing it, he really was), the way her socks never seemed to stay up, even the shiny little snot trail she’s currently wearing.

“What is it, sweetheart?”

“I’m cold.” To emphasize her point, Ruby wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. Or pretended to, at least.

“Well, where’s your hat?” He knew for a fact they had grabbed one before they left the house. She had insisted that she couldn’t wear the sparkly purple one (even though it had been her favorite last week). She needed to wear her lime green one because it went better with her blue coat. So, he grabbed the green hat as they rushed out of the house.

But there she stood, head bare, frowning. “It was messing up my braids.”

“Well, it won’t be much longer. Papa should be getting done any second.”

Even as he said it, though, he pulled an extra scarf out of his pocket and wrapped it (carefully) around his daughter’s head and ears. He grabbed it on a whim and was glad he did.

They didn’t normally wait for Holster to be done with practice, but they had a full day planned for Ruby. It was the first Christmas they were going to spend together as a family, instead of celebrating with either Ransoms or Holster’s families. Both men wanted it to be special.

They only had to wait a few more minutes before they could see Holster’s large frame exit the rink. He rushed over to them and picked Ruby up in a big hug, swinging her around.He pulled Ransom into a small, sweet kiss.

“Jiminy Christmas it is cold out here.”

“Bittle, what do you mean you’ve never made a snowman before?”

Bitty looked at his husband across the breakfast table. He couldn’t remember the last time he heard that shocked tone in his voice. It was the same tone Bitty had when he asked Jack what he meant when he said he didn’t actually know the difference between jam and jelly.

“Well, sweetheart,” he took a careful fork of french toast, “I grew up in Georgia. You know that. I hoped you knew that was in the South…”

Jack gave him a deadpan expression. “And your excuse for the four years you were at Samwell? Or the seven we’ve lived in Providence together?”

“Yeah, Daddy, even I’ve made a snowman before,” Henry exclaimed through a mouthful of mostly mostly maple syrup.

“No sassing Daddy until after breakfast. You, too, mister.” Bitty pointed an accusing finger at Jack.

Bitty miscalculated. He thought that his son would be distracted by the time he finished breakfast. Instead, it did the opposite. It gave him a fifteen minute reprieve, but the minute plates fell into the sink, both Henry and Jack started wheedling him about going to make a snowman. He had to physically restrain his husband from grabbing the whole bag of carrots.

“Jack, we are not about to make a dozen snowmen. If you want that Christmas roast, you best put those back.”

In the end, he had to admit that they were on to something. Sure, the snow was just as cold as he thought it was going to be, and it was getting positively everywhere (really, what was the point of boots if they just rapped the snow?), but seeing how happy his son was running around to find the “perfect snowman snow” made it worth it.

Even Jack had a child-like gleam in his eyes.

They spent more time playing in the thick snow than Bitty had ever spent outside during the winter. Maybe more than all the time combined. If they didn’t have plans that evening, he suspected that his husband and son would have gone right on playing.

With just enough time, they made it inside and stripped off their now soggy clothes. While Bitty helped Henry get changed, Jack started a big pot of hot chocolate (it was years before Bitty would admit that his husband could make better hot chocolate). Right as they settled into the couch, the doorbell rang.

When everyone got settled, Bitty looked around the room happily. Cool Runnings played forgotten in the background as Ruby and Henry conspired quietly on one end of the couch. On the other, Jack and Holster were deep in conversation, no doubt hockey-related. Since Holster was traded to the Falcs, the two were nearly inseparable. Ransom had fallen asleep against Bitty on the small love seat.

He sighed happily, glad that life had turned out so wonderfully for them all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 12 Days of Check, Please! Christmas
> 
> Day 4: Shopping for gifts

For the life of him, Dex had no idea what to get Jack for Christmas.

And it was all Nursey’s fault. As usual.

Originally, Dex had pulled Lardo for the “Non-denominational Winter Gift Exchange”. He had been just as unsure what to get her, so he consulted his boyfriend. Who immediately begged to trade names. In the least Nursey-like fashion possible, he begged all the way across campus, going so far as to sit in on Dex’s Science of the Supernatural class.

When Nursey trailed after Dex up the stairs to his dorm an hour later, he finally snapped.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Nurse, what? Are you so insistent that you need to switch?”

Dex noticed a faint blush spread across his cheeks.

“I may have… already gotten something for her? It was supposed to be a thank you for helping me with some things last year. But then I never really got the chance, and I’d really love to give it to her. Please, Dex?”

Dex knew he would regret agreeing to it the minute he did. Because the little slip of paper that Nursey handed him in exchange for his own “Lardo” had a messy “Jay-Zed” written across it.

If Dex was having a hard time with Lardo, he couldn’t even describe trying to find a gift for Jack. Sure, he could go with the ugly Hanukkah sweater that Nursey was planning to buy. He could listen to Bitty’s suggestion of a new pair of running shoes. Even Chowder’s recommendation of winter croc boots would have been okay (except for the entire principle of encouraging croc-wearing). 

But the thing was… They were just okay gifts. Not the gift.

Growing up, no one in Dex’s family had enough money to give presents to all of the brothers and sisters, all of the cousins, all of the aunts and uncles; it was too many people. So, instead of exchanging gifts with everyone, each person was in charge of one other person. One present all year, that was it. And that meant it had to be the perfect gift.

There was nothing quite like getting something thoughtful and personal and exactly right. Dex realized that wasn’t how everyone else did Secret Santa (“Non-denominational Winter Gift Exchange”, whatever), but it was the only way Dex knew how to do the holidays. And an ugly Hanukkah sweatshirt just wasn’t going to do it.

Dex spent more time than he was willing to admit browsing the internet and the mall for the perfect thing. He even read through Jack’s wikipedia page for some sort of hint (he didn’t find one, but he did get a good laugh out of Jack’s ugly baby phase).

It was frustrating, especially since everyone he asked already picked something out.

On the last day of the semester, the day before the gift exchange, Dex was close to admitting defeat. He sighed as he let his head fall to his desk, ignoring the rattles of his many picture frames. He let his head thunk down a few more times, when it came to him.

 

Dex wasn’t entirely sure how Ransom and Holster had managed to decorate the Haus so perfectly (seriously, where did they get a Christmas wreath with The perfect shade of Samwell red?), but he didn’t want to question it too much. He just huddled around the large tree like everyone else.

It wasn’t the sight he was used to, mismatched ornaments and knick knacks (some holiday, most not), a colorful array of wrapping paper (and newspaper, and paper bags, and… a trash bag?), but it was perfectly them. Sitting together, enjoying some sort of mulled wine drink Bitty had made (it took convincing to let Bitty give some to the tadpoles), it felt like family.

“Why don’t the guests of the Haus go first?” Bitty’s cheeks were already flushed from the wine. He dug under the tree until he pulled out Dex’s poorly wrapped box (wrapped in recycled paper from his birthday).

Jack carefully peeled back the corners (because of course he was that guy). All the anxiety Dex felt about his gift to Jack melted away. This was family, but it wasn’t like his family back home. They didn’t expect perfect, just enough.

“I know it’s nothing special, Jack. But I thought you’d like something personal better than just something you could buy yourself. And obviously you can change the pictures. I’m sure you have better ones, with how many you’ve taken.”

Just as carefully as he unwrapped the box, Jack pulled four picture frames from the box. They were all wooden; three of them were plain. The fourth was a light honey color with a Celtic knot design carved into it. Dex had printed out a few of the pictures of the team he had on his phone (and a few from facebook). He knew that on top was a picture of Jack and Shitty wrestling on the roof, a worried Bitty yelling at them from his window. Under that was a picture of Ransom and Holster on the ice with Nursey and himself (it looked like they were deep in a lesson, but Dex remembered that the two were actually talking about a prank they wanted to pull on the LAX bros). Under that, Chowder modeled an awkward and uncomfortable looking pose for Lardo.

The last frame, it was special. Dex kept a picture of Joshua’s graduation from Westpoint in it. For Jack, he found the perfect picture of Bitty. Holster managed to snap it right when Bitty started reading a text from Jack. He had a smudge of flour on his cheek and a soft smile. The honey wood brought out golden highlights in his hair.

“The, uh, those two small ones are made from drift wood I found years ago. The bigger one was some scraps I had left over when I made a bookshelf. And the other one… I carved it years ago. I thought they’d be good for your new apartment.”

“These are amazing, Dex. Thank you.”

The happy look on Jack’s face, the misty expression Bitty had, and the smile Nursey gave him… they were better than any gift he could get.

If anyone was wondering, here are all the gifts:

 

Chowder (from Tango): a book on sharks (not the team, the animal)  
-Tango maybe misunderstood  
-Chowder took it gracefully (”This looks so interesting!”)  
Nursey (from Chowder): the poetry of Paul Dunbar  
Dex (from Jack): a pair of waterproof work boots  
-do you know how expensive good boots are???  
Bitty (from Whiskey): a marble rolling pin and a custom embossed SMH rolling pin  
-how did this boy get so insightful?  
Holster (from Bitty): Casablanca, Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, Steel Magnolias, Gone With the Wind  
aka classic romance movies  
Ransom (from Shitty): The “Eh” Team canada crop top  
Lardo (from Nursey): an embossed “L. Duan” portfolio for her art  
Shitty (from Holster): mustache shaped flask, “fuck harvard” bumper sticker  
-let’s not forget Holster’s hate for the Ivy League  
Jack (from Dex): framed pictures of SMH, hand detailed wooden frames  
Whiskey (from Lardo): a free pass on the no LAX bros in the Haus rule redeemable at one Kegster  
-Holster and Shitty object. heavily.   
-Lardo doesn’t care  
Tango (from Ransom): a pocket notebook to write down questions he has


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 12 Days of Check, Please! Christmas
> 
> day three: baking (holiday) treats

Kent was fearless. He faced guys who were half a foot taller than him (and who had 100 pounds on him) on a near daily basis. He laughed off injuries from skates and 100 mile an hour pucks. He moved to Las friggin’ Vegas at 18.

And he was about to be brought down by a plate of stupid marshmallow… things.

“Bitty. Please. You have to help me.”

Two hours ago, Kent felt embarrassed about begging his laptop for help (and yeah, okay, he was skyping with Bitty, but it still felt silly). But that was two hours and too many failed attempts ago.

“Sweetheart, I am trying. But it may be time to face the facts here.”

“NO! There are no facts to face, Eric Bittle. I will make my boyfriend the plate of perfect zefir that he has been craving for months if it kills me.”

On the small laptop screen, Bitty sighed and muttered, “It just might.”

Kent let his head fall into his arms, beyond the point of caring that his hair was probably getting into the mess on his counters. It was beyond saving, at this point. He could already feel sugar powdering his face and a stickiness clumping his hair. He must look like a hot mess.

The thing was, they weren’t even supposed to be exchanging any gifts this year. Kent and Tater decided that they’d rather spend what little time they had together just being together instead of bothering with any holiday nonsense. It’s not like either of them had actually celebrated in years, anyway. There was no reason to make a fuss.

But…

But, Tater had spent months talking about how much he missed food from back home, how nothing tastes the same in the States because the sugar was different (and really, how different could sugar taste?), talking about all the things he would give up just to taste mom’s food (or even a poor imitation) again.

So, Kent made a plan.

He went on a tour of all the Russian restaurants and bakeries he could find (and who knew Vegas had more than just a handful of spots). For weeks he stuffed himself full of foreign food that almost certainly went against his meal plans. He even wen so far as to ask he waitstaff at several locations what their favorite spots were.

Kent considered finding the best one and bringing Tater next time he visited. As he was on the phone, making reservations, he was struck by (what he thought at the time was) genius. He would hand make something instead!

He compared hundreds of recipes for a dozen different things. In the end, he closed every tab but one to decide at random what he was making. Zefir. After a trip to two different specialty stores (one for agar agar and one for the beet sugar Tater was constantly on about), an hour comparing standing mixers and piping bags in William Sonoma, and ambushing a Russian tourist to ask about her favorite flavors, Kent was ready to start.

If it only left him a day to make everything, even though he could really use two in case he messed up and needed extra time to let them dry, that was okay, because he was ready.

He was not ready. The egg whites wouldn’t whip, he couldn’t get the agar agar to be the right texture, the measurements were all off. He realized quickly that he was going to need help and skyped Bitty (who answered the call in the middle of his own holiday baking). That didn’t help much, either. As much direction and encouragement as he could give, Bitty couldn’t actually be there to help.

“Alright, c'mon, one more time. You’ve almost got it.”

Kent half-heartedly glared at Bitty, but started again. It wasn’t until he was piping the second tray that he realized he was done. He had done it!

He could barely contain his excitement the next day, picking Tater up from the airport. His boyfriend knew something was up immediately, not missing the smug grin Kent couldn’t seem to suppress. Even though he knew Tater must be hungry after his flight, Kent drove them straight to his apartment, bypassing real food entirely.

Tater, who was horrible at surprises, spent the entire ride trying to figure out what was going on.

“What you are up to, Kenny?”

“I know you are not having foods at your house.”

“It is good secret, yes?”

It didn’t occur Kent to be nervous until he was sliding the kiey into his front door. What if Kent actually fucked up? What if Tater didn’t like them? What if Tater didn’t like zefir, period? Kent couldn’t remember him ever mentioning them by name, he just knew it was one of the treats he sampled at one of the bakeries he found. And obviously there was no way he could get near to Mama Mashkov’s cooking. Or even Bitty’s. Why hadn’t he thought ahead and asked Bitty to make something for him?

He paused in the doorway and turned to his boyfriend. “I know we said no presents, and I mean, technically I didn’t buy anything, but I wanted to give you something. Except you don’t have to like it. Them. I won’t be upset. I mean, you probably won’t.”

Tater slowly pushed him through the door, smiling gently. “I am sure I will love.”

With a smile (that may have looked more like a grimace), Kent led his giant excited child boyfriend through the living room and to the breakfast bar. He hadn’t thought about what he was supposed to do with the zefir once they were done, and t hadn’t occurred to him at William Sonoma to pick up a serving dish, so he dumped them all in the huge bowl usually reserved for popcorn on movie nights.

He chewed on his lips as Tater looked between Kent and the bowl of pink fluff.

“I’m not sure if they’re any good. Like, at all. And they’re probably not super authentic or anything. I just found the recipe online. But I did try some at this restaurant and they’re kinda similar. And Bitty helped me. A little. Well, a lot. Over skype.”

“You are making… for me?” Tater’s eyes went wide as Kent nodded slowly.

“Yeah, babe, I – oh my god, put me down!” Somehow, before he could even finish his sentence, Tater had thrown him over a broad shoulder and marched them to the bedroom.

“Tater, what are you doing? You didn’t even try one!”

Tater threw him on the bed. “Mm, will try later. Thank you first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the past few years, I’ve tried to make my mom a treat from back home for Christmastime (even though I usually push her diet super hard). And every year, it’s just “not the same” because of the cane sugar. I imagine Tater has the same problem. That being said, I know literally nothing about Russian desserts, take this with a grain of salt.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really love your Nurseydex fics!!! I was wondering if you might write more based on that part w Dex and Nursey being f*ckbuddies and Dex asking Nursey to stay the night, just once, no one ever does. And how they go from there? And if Dex is thr little spoon if they cuddle I'll probably explode from happiness just saying. Please and thank you  
>  (based on chapter 1)

Dex watched Nursey struggling to pull on those ridiculously tight jeans he like to wear from his bed. Normally, seeing him jump around would make Dex laugh, but he couldn’t find it in himself. Instead, he was just… exhausted.

Not the sort of exhausted that comes from a job well done, or a satisfied exhausted from good sex. No, he felt drained. Emotionally exhausted. The kind that came from watching another guy walk out the door.

It wasn’t that the sex wasn’t great, because it really, really was. It was better than any hookup Dex could pick up, better than any relationship he’d ever had. The sex was practically addictive.

The problem was that he liked more than just the sex, though. He like the time they spent together before they fucked. He got excited about the idea of seeing Nursey outside of hockey. It wasn’t just a casual, friends with benefits thing anymore; there were feelings involved.

Feelings that were killing him every time he watched Nursey walk away like Dex wasn’t worth the time and effort of sticking around.

Dex knew he wasn’t that fun to be around. He was brash, and aggressive, and angry. He didn’t have a great personality. It was easy to understand why hook ups never stuck around: why bother putting up with all of that when the sex already happened. It still hurt, but it was understandable. When it was Nursey, though…

Nursey and him spent time together. He liked Dex enough to hang out with him, or so Dex thought. It was hard not to wonder if that was just out of obligation to the team, or worse, a way to get in his pants, when Nursey always left straight after he got what he wanted.

When Nursey finally got the tight denim over his thighs, he turned around, mouth already forming words when he paused.

“What’s wrong, bro?”

Dex realized he had barely moved since Nursey climbed off the cheap dorm mattress. He hadn’t put on any of his clothes, or even covered himself up. The pillows got lost somewhere in their haste to get naked, so the only thing on the bed with Dex was his thick quilt.

He considered telling Nursey nothing was wrong, that he was imagining things. Anything but what actually came out of his mouth.

“Please don’t leave.”

Nursey stopped struggling with his shirt, eyes wide. He let his arms drop to his side, half tangled in the maroon fabric. “What’d you say?”

“Please stay? Just the night, just once? Nobody ever stays, and it’s okay with them, but it’s you, and I just need you to… I just need you. Please, Nursey?”

There was something in his voice that he hated. He sounded weak, broken. And maybe he was. Hell, he probably was. He couldn’t be normal and fuck without feeling like he was coming apart at the seems.

Dex couldn’t bring himself to look at Nursey’s face. He focused on Nursey’s strong arms, the smooth skin of his chest, the stupid men’s hockey shirt that Dex was pretty sure started out life as his own. No, he knew what he would find in Nursey’s face: pitty.

But he was at the point where he didn’t care. He didn’t want to know if Nursey stayed with him because he felt bad for Dex. And if he said no? Dex didn’t want to see the look of disgust at his over emotional response. He just wanted to pretend, if only for one night, that maybe someone could care for him, that he was good for something other than hockey and fucking.

In a flash, Nursey stripped back out of his clothes and crawled back up on the bed with Dex. With gentle but firm hands, he directed Dex to look at him.

Nursey’s face… there wasn’t pity, or disgust, or any emotion Dex could name. It was soft and open, and it made something in his chest ache just as much as it eased some of the tension he was feeling. Nursey pressed a gentle kiss to Dex’s lips, the first time they’d ever kissed outside of sex.

After a minute looking at each other, Nursey rearranged them on the bed so that he was spooning Dex. It wasn’t the first time Dex had been the little spoon (he had a girlfriend in high school who loved to cuddle that way), but it was the first time he felt so completely surrounded, and warm, and safe.

One of the things that surprised Dex most about having sex with Nursey was how attentive he was. He cared more about his partner’s pleasure than his own. Dex wasn’t sure why he was so surprised that Nursey was the same way with cuddling. Nursey made sure that Dex was as comfortable as possible, that he knew he was the entire focus of Nursey’s attention. He knew just how to move his hands to be comforting but not over-stimulating.

It was nearly an hour before either of them said anything. Dex surprised himself by breaking the silence.

“Thank you, for doing this for me.”

Nursey nosed at the back of Dex’s neck. He hummed as an acknowledgement that he heard Dex speak, but didn’t say anything. Dex realized that Nursey was giving him time to talk, time to sort through his thoughts and figure out what exactly he wanted to say. He had never been so grateful for someone in his life.

“I’m… it’s okay when other people leave after a hookup, but I like you. I really fucking like you, Nursey. And it really, really fucking hurts thinking that you don’t like me enough to stick around, y'know? Or care.”

Behind him, Nursey took a deep breath. Dex could almost feel him counting to 10 in his head, a technique Jack tried to teach the team in an effort to get them to respond instead of react. Dex found himself counting, too.

After 30 long seconds, Nursey said, “I really like you, too. I only leave because I thought that’s what you wanted.”

Dex found Nursey’s hand on his stomach and held it tight. That wasn’t what he expected. Before he could respond, though, Nursey spoke again.

“If you wanted, I would never leave this bed. But if you want me to leave, I can do that, too. You’re calling the shots, Poindexter, because I’m all in for whatever you want.”

“How about… for now, we just do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect anyone to actually read these here?? what's up with that? why does this have kudos??


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where guardian angels pretend to be human to be involved in their person's life without the person knowing and Ransom & Holster are both guardian angels who accidentally got assigned to each other and don't know that the other is also an angel.

Ransom was unsure. It was his first time on ground, and already things weren’t going to plan.

According to bitty, who was the most amazing guardian angel Ransom knew, he was supposed to have several weeks to observe his human so that he could seamlessly fit into their life. That didn’t happen, though. No, according to nursery, there had been a clerical error and his human’s watch had lapsed. It meant Ransom had to go to ground with no preparation.

He also wasn’t prepared for his human body. It was mostly like his ethereal one, but with his brain came a flood of chemicals. Suddenly, his vague worry was full-on anxiety, and it came with physical symptoms. His happiness bubbled up until it came flooded out of his mouth; a laugh, Bitty told him later.

Then, there were the new things: pain, hunger, desire. Love. Beyond the clouds, Ransom thought he felt love, but it was nothing like his human body experienced. It was undeniable what he was feeling, though. It felt like every book, every poem, and every song described. Even the conflicting things all seemed to fit.

The rush he felt when he came into contact with his human for the first time… there was a zing down his spine, like he was shaking hands with another angel, even though that was impossible. His heart felt too big for his chest. All his blood felt like fire, and he wished he hadn’t spent his class on sexual desires day dreaming.

All of Ransom’s worries about having to work to fit into his human’s life were unfounded. From the very first, “s'up bro, ” they were inseparable.

At first, things were easy enough. A guardian angel wasn’t like humans liked to think; they didn’t stop time and keep people from being hit by cars. No, they simply suggested better decisions, decisions that would pay off down the road. And all in all, holster didn’t seem to make any decisions at all.

Holster always asked what Ransom wanted to do. He helped calm Ransom down (holster thought it was anxiety, when really it was being overwhelmed by the world). He always let Ransom choose where they went to eat, what movie they saw, everything.

After a few weeks, it started to feel wrong. He wasn’t built to make so many decisions. He wasn’t built to make decisions at all. He was only supposed to help out in life, not choose what direction it went. On top of it all, he was starting to feel guilty about hiding things from holster.

Bitty had warned him about that. He told Ransom that it got hard to separate your human life, your emotions, and your ethereal purpose. Ransom tried to repeat his words often: “your purpose is to help, even if that means doing things that may hurt. ” Most days… it didn’t help.

He didn’t know what to do, and he was without his usual help. He felt… sad. It was so bad that he went three days without seeing Holster, feigning excuses about work and school and being busy.

When he knocked on holster’s door on Tuesday, their brunch and movie day, he knew he looked bad. He hadn’t been sleeping well, which made his eyes droop. Seeing his exhaustion reflected on his human’s face made him feel even worse, something he didn’t think possible.

“Hey, sorry it’s been a few days. Can i… can I come in?”

Holster opened the door wide and waved him in.

Ransom loved holster’s space. It was full of knick knacks and comforts, hand knit blankets and mismatched mugs. It was everything Ransom lived about humanity, all in one spot. It didn’t escape him that Holster was one of those things, too.

Ransom slouched onto the slightly saggy green couch and pulled the ever-present throw around his shoulders. His human body liked the feeling of being surrounded.

“I’ve just felt… sort of lost. Since I moved here. It’s been a lot to take in. ” Holster sat next to him and listened carefully, just like always.

“I, just. Usually I can go to my friend bitty for advice, but he’s been… out of range recently.” It was true. Bitty gave the best pep talks and advice, Ransom could use some advice.

Holster made a small noise in the back I’d his throat, but didn’t say anything, just waved for Ransom to continue.

He took a deep breath. “I’m not used to… deciding things. And i gotta admit, bro. I’m kinda out of my depths. I’ve never… had feelings like I’ve had for you.”

Ransom tried not to look at holster. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t want to face the other man. He couldn’t help it, though. His eyes drew up and holster was… Laughing?

It was a silent chuckle at first, but it turned into a full belly laugh.

“I’m sorry, ” he for out between giggles, “I don’t mean to laugh. I don’t. I’m not laughing at you. ”

“Kinda feels like it, man. ” Ransom was really starting to appreciate how humans made so many bad decisions. All the feelings were overwhelming.

Holster’s laughter faded, but he still had a huge smile. “No, it’s just. Nursey said there was a glitch. Then I had a last minute class with bitty. ”

Ransom’s eyes went wide. “So we’ve been.. to each other?”

Holster started laughing again and, this time, Ransom couldn’t help but join in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written on mobile, so there could be mistakes


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nurseydex, "Letting go hurts.... a lot" prompted to @derekpoindexter-williamnurse (brioux here on AO3)  
> their response: Dex has his face smushed into Nursey’s neck. He’s all cried out, really. Has been since about noon yesterday. He thinks maybe he should be embarrassed, crying this much in front of his boyfriend and all his friends. But losing his grandmother is the hardest thing Dex has ever had to go through.
> 
> “Letting go hurts… a lot,” he whispers.
> 
> “I know, babe,” Nursey says. “But I’m here for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings for panic attacks, mourning, family deaths, Christmas.  
> Original note on the work: I’m sorry. I was having some feels lost-family holiday feels and took it out on our favorite boy (with permission from @derekpoindexter-williamnurse). I did basically no editing, sorry y’all.

Dex usually loved Christmas. It was his favorite holiday (even though nobody knew it). He loved spending time with family, and was over the moon about bringing Nursey home with him over break. 

Poindexters don't do holidays half-way. All of the aunts and uncles, siblings and cousins, all make their way back to Nowhere, Maine. Back to the family matriarch, Granny Poindexter. Or at least they had, before she died.

Granny Poindexter, even to her friends, was one hell of a woman. She worked as a nurse for nearly 65 years before she retired, working for every department, though multiple wars, a divorce, and seven kids. She ran a tight ship, but had more than enough love to give to all of her kids, twenty grandchildren, and a new generation of great-grand children. 

Dex could remember years helping Granny Poindexter set up for Christmas, going where she pointed and doing what she said. Together, they made dozens of cookie every year, some to hand out as presents for neighbors and people around town, more to eat for themselves. He never told any of the guys on the team, but cooking with Bitty reminded him of the days when he could barely reach the counter, helping his grandma roll and sttamp cookies.

Her death wasn't unexpected, it was years coming, but it hit the entire family hard. Hell, it hit the entire community hard. But it had nearly been five years. Most of the family was ready to get together again for Christmas. Dex was excited to see everyone. He was excited for Nursey to meet everyone, too. 

The first two days were fantastic. Dex took Nursey to see the sights, what that they were at least. Nursey loved to look out over rocky shore lines (and Dex liked to makeout against the lighthouse, so it worked out well). 

The family loved Nursey, and he loved them all even more. Dex had no idea that his boyfriend was so good with kids, but he was. Dex also didn't know that he found that so attractive, but he definitely did. He could happily watch Nursey lift his nieces and nephews by his arms, letting the baby cousins draw new “tattoos”, and discuss some obscure Canadian poet with his oldest sister.

But then, day three. It was the day before Christmas Eve and Dex woke up before nearly everyone in the house. It wasn't unusual for him, especially staying back in his childhood home again. Most mornings he would try to fall back asleep (or maybe wake Nursey up to fool around before all the kids started running around). He had a plan, though, for that morning. 

Everything was perfect, except one thing was missing. There were no cookies. Dex was going to make some.

It had been years since the last time he made them, but he could still remember the recipe. It was simple: flour, sugar, eggs. Half almond extract, half vanilla. Don't just rest the dough in the fridge, cool the cookie sheets and cutters, too. They baked exactly nine minutes, just enough to be golden brown but not enough to dry them out. He even managed to make the icing perfect, even though he couldn't remember the measurements quite right.

The smell of sugar coodies and powdered sugar brought back memories of Granny Poindexter. Except, the memories were wrong. He couldn't quite put his finger on why. Not the passing memories, at least. It wasn't until he was frosting his first cookie.

The first one was always special. Granny Poindexter would frost it, just like she would all the others. But the first was always Dex's to decorate. With a table full of sprinkles and piping bags and colored sugars and pearls, Dex would meticulously place each little decoration. Then, they would eat it together. Granny Poindexter would laugh, and Dex would laugh, and all the work they had done would seem like no trouble at all, because it wasn't.

But those memories were wrong, too, and suddenly he knew exactly why. There was no laughter, the words were all distorted. Dex couldn't remember what his grandma sounded like. He knew she laughed, but he couldn't remember the right sound to fill the emptiness of his memories. 

Dex's breath got ripped out of him. He felt his knees go out from under him; he aimed for the chair but ended up on the cold kitchen tiles instead. He couldn't find it in himself to care.

He was forgetting his grandma.

He was forgetting her.

His memory had never been one of Dex's best qualities. His fifth birthday party was hazy. The face of the boy he kissed in fifth grad was fuzzy. He couldn't remember what the lucky number was when he won $500 on a lotto ticket at 16. But those were single moments.

How could he forget 15 years of Granny Poindexter? Someone he saw every day, who loved him more than life itself, who he loved more than life itself?

If he could forget so easily, though, did he actually love her as much as he thought he did? Or as much as she deserved? 

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, on the kitchen floor, before Nursey found him.

“Dex? Babe? Dex. Hey, William, c'mon.”

It took a minute for him to focus on his boyfriend's face; half of it was coming up from whatever place he was in and the other half was trying to see through the saltiness of his tears. He still couldn't catch his breath.

Nursey didn't try to ask what was wrong, he just sat down on the floor wrapped a large arm around Dex. 

Before they made the trip to Maine, they had a conversation about Granny Poindexter. It was the first time Dex had talked about her death. He hadn't even talked with family about it. The words hurt to say. Ransom and Holster had walked into the kitchen to find Dex crying on a very un-chill Nursey's shoulder. 

They sat in the kitchen for a few hours, not talking. A few cousins came in, but were quickly ushered out by Dex's father. None of the family said a word about Dex's red and blotchy face or the table full of half-made cookies (though the kids did sneak a few off the table). 

Through it all, Nursey was patient. When he saw something from the doorway to the kitchen (Dex couldn't make out what), he brought a careful hand up and held Dex's cheek.

“It's okay. It sucks, but it'll be okay.”

Dex nodded. He couldn't see past the bad days, but he trusted Nursey. He leaned forward to press a small kiss to his boyfriend's lips. It could be okay, one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try adding warnings at the beginning of each chapter since I haven't tagged anything for the work itself.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember the context of this exactly (i pulled it out of my writing folder instead of off my tumblr), but it had something to do with that post going around about Jack having to constantly apologize for the team

At first, Eric wasn't sure if he was having troubles adjusting to college, or to Samwell specifically. The classwork was... okay. When he did it. And the classes were fine, too... when he went. But the environment?

From his very first day on campus, Eric was blown away by how open and diverse and LOUD the students were. The quad was bursting with tables advertising various groups on campus. All of the sports teams took up the far corner, but he swore he could hear yelling all the way across the lawn (something about roaches?). 

 

Eric was running late to his history class. He tried to catch up on the English paper he had been putting off during his hour break and lost track of time, and of course the library was on the opposite end of campus as the humanities buildings. He was full-out sprinting when he rashed into the largest man he had ever seen. He bounced backward and a pair of strong hands caught him.

“Woah, sorry about that, bro!” 

Eric found himself staring at two of the most handsom guys on all of campus. He recognized Justin Oluransi, beause everyone knew Justin Oluransi. Eric had gotten a facebook friend request from him two months into his freshman year. The other guy, whose height frankly offended Eric, look familiar as well. Eric could vaguely remember his face from freshman orientation. All of the groups on campus set up tables and a fight broke out on the sports side of the quad (something about cockroaches?).

Hockey players, then.

“Sorry, y'all, wasn't watching where I was going.” Eric stuttered out his apology, wondering if he should even try to make it to history class. Skipping would give him more time to work on his essay, anyway.

After a second, Justin clears his throat and straightens up. “My name is Ransom and this is Holster and we're doing a survey of the student body here are Samwell. Would you be interested in participating?”

Eric wasn't suer what it was that made him say yes. Probably Justin Oluransi's unfairly attractive face. And, as far as excuses to skip class went, it was a fairly good one. “Uh, sure.”

The pair looked so excited, they were practically vibrating. It was adorable (never a word he thought he'd use to describe big, buff hockey bros).

The taller one, Holster, presented Eric with a clipboard with several sheets of paper and a sparkly neon orange pen attached. He gave them a timid smile and started filling everything out.

1\. Name, age, major  
2\. sexual orientation (If you're attracted to multiple genders, do you have a preference within those genders?)  
3\. What are your hobbies?  
4\. do you have a physical “type”? If yes, describe it  
5\. would you consider yourself a relationship person, or DTF?  
6\. ….

“Uh, what did you say this was for again?

Holster grinned widely at him, all teeth and cheer. “Oh! We're compiling information on all of the students so we can set up the hockey team and the volleyball team for the Winter Screw.”

Justin (no, Ransom he called himself) shoved his laptop in Eric's face. “See, we have this spreadsheet. It's so cool. It takes all of the collected traits and then-”

“Ransom, I love you bro, but nobody wants to see your spreadsheet. Stay focused.”

Before Eric could form a response, someone called out from behind them. “Ransom, Holster, stop!”

The trio turned around and watched (another?!) seriously attractive guy run towards them. Eric wasn't ashamed to say he enjoyed the view. The closer he got, the more faster Eric's heart started beating. If he thought Ransom and Holster were cute, they had nothing on this guy.

Speaking of Eric's physical type... Tall, dark hair, fit: he checked every box. And he wasn't even a little out of breath after running through the quad, which. Damn.

“C'mon, eh? I asked you not to ask strangers personal questions.”

He turned amazingly blue eyes on Eric. “I'm Jack Zimmermann, captain of Samwell Men's Hockey, and on behalf of Ransom and Holster, I'd like to apologize for their embarrassing prying and lack of boundaries.”

Eric looked between the three hockey players. He scribbled something quickly on the clipboard, shoved it back at Holster, and turned his attention to Jack.

“Well, hello Jack Zimmermann. I'm Eric Bittle. You can make it up to me with a PSL at Annie's.”

4\. do you have a physical type? If yes, describe it.  
Jack Zimmermann.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HC I sent to @chillwhiskey (and then ended up writing): SMH 100% volunteer to escort girls on campus late at night. Stay a little too long at the library? Work at the comp labs that close at 12? Creepy guy from your psych class hanging around? Text holsom for big, buff protection.Okay, so maybe bitty didn’t leave figure skating. Or maybe he didn’t play hockey. Or maybe he didn’t get a scholarship to play hockey, whatever.

Okay, so maybe bitty didn’t leave figure skating. Or maybe he didn’t play hockey. Or maybe he didn’t get a scholarship to play hockey, whatever.

But through the magic of student loans he still ended up going to Samwell (OR he could comfortably go there because he doesn’t come from a lower middle class family, because y'all… his dad coaches football. In Georgia. That shit is actually such a high paying job. Try to tell me they didn’t live well beyond comfortably)

Anyway, for whatever reason, Bitty is not on the samwell hockey team.

And he’s LOVING being a little gay man in the land of queer kids.

Except maybe that one super creepy dude (lax bro? Lax bro.) who keeps following him around and somehow knows his class schedule and just won’t take no for an answer

but for the most part, even that’s okay.

Until it isn’t.

Because it’s almost two in the morning and bitty lost track of time in the library and there is the creepy stalker bro sitting outside on the benches, definitely eyeing the door like he’s waiting for Bitty to leave.

In the magical power of plot device, Bitty notices a poster on the library walls! It looks like maybe a fourth grader made it (and it’s covered in glitter, oh lord why is there so much glitter) but bitty can make out “#SMHgotYourBack – text us if you need an escort”

he texts. five times. no answer. So he calls instead.

-“who the motherfuck are you and what in the everloving FUCK are you doing calling at ASS O'CLOCK” (forgive this rude boys, bitty, they got in late from a roadie and promptly passed the fuck out)

-“umm, sorry, but I saw this flier about walking people home?

-“oh, ch'yeah, totally. Be there in five”

and just like the voice on the phone said, five minutes later, two of the biggest dudes bitty has ever seen on campus come lumbering up to the library

they introduce themselves as “Ransom” and “Holster” and Bitty nearly cries in relief

Holsom happily escort Bitty back to his dorm. They even walk him to his door.

(INTERLUDE! Listen, I know how much we love the Convenient-Freshman-Single as plot devices. I don’t know about y'all, but at my university, that would NEVER have happened. For a while they even stuck a third person in my two-person room. It was Not Good.)

So, of COURSE when they get to his room (did your dorms have name tags? Mine totally did) there’s a sock on the knob and Bitty has been sexiled.

Ransom and Holster don’t want to leave this poor little southern belle to freeze in the hallway, so they bring him to the Haus. (they volunteer the couch to sleep on and bitty is absolutely horrified. Even the bathroom floor would be better to sleep on)

Bitty appreciates it, and like a true southerner, decides that some good home cooking is the best thank you

He gets up early and makes… everything he can in this god-awfully stocked kitchen (it’s mostly lots of vinegar pie because these boys wouldn’t know fresh fruit if it hit them, but also a breakfast casserole because of course they have bacon and eggs in the Haus)

And as Bitty is leaving for his 8am (listen here, future frogs… you will not want to go to that 8am class and nobody will be there to stop you from sleeping in. just don’t do it. Stick to 10 and later), he runs smack into one very sweaty Jack coming back from a run

bitty almost faints

and this is how, through the power of fanfic get-together magic, non-hockey Bitty meets SMH and still falls head over heels for one Jack L Zimmerman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this and may actually write more than a little bullet-fic style thing


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a hoarse whisper “kiss me”, Nurseydex. requested by @embyrr922

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly NSFW, aspec Nursey  
> I wanted to have a fic where an aspec character still has (and enjoys) sex.

The thing was, Nursey didn’t really like sex. He knew the kind of reputation he had, and how it said otherwise. He tried not to think about it too much, about where it came from, and how words like “beast” and “jungle fever” were thrown around like he was more animal than human (and sometimes he did think about it and he got angry, then sad, then went to spend the day with Ransom, the only other person who really understood why he was so angry and sad about it).

In all reality, Nursey placed himself on the asexual spectrum. He didn’t have a fancy name for what he was, not quite demisexual but not quite anything else, either. He just knew that he didn’t experience the same kind of pull toward sexual attraction that other people did.

When him and Dex started their relationship, Nursey expected it to be a struggle for them. He thought his sexuality would be the thing that broke them up in the end, the way it had with every relationship he had ever been in.

Dex surprised him at every turn, though. He never pushed or questioned Nursey. He never got frustrated when even Nursey couldn’t figure out what he wanted (or didn’t want). He was patient and caring in a way that made Nursey’s chest tighten with how loved he felt.

That feeling made Nursey want to find ways to make Dex feel just as important. It made it easier for Nursey to experiment with his sexuality. He still labelled himself asexual, but he found that he loved being able to give Dex the unique pleasure of an orgasm. One day he would sit down and really consider what it meant to him to be asexual and in a sexual relationship, but not today.

Far and above everything else, Nursey’s favorite thing to do was to blow Dex. Every moan was Dex telling him that he was doing a good job. Every time Dex tried to run his fingers through Nursey’s hair was proof that he could make Dex forget himself so completely (even though Nursey would punish him for that every time… but later). Every time Dex came was the ultimate compliment to Nursey’s skill.

Nursey’s favorite was when they were laying in bed together, after. Dex would acknowledge that while Nursey didn’t want reciprocation in the traditional sense (usually), having any sort of sex was still an extremely intimate encounter for him. So, every time Dex would ask, “What can I do for you?” It made Nursey feel like the most important person in the world.

Nursey would look at him, voice still hoarse from their time together, and say, “Kiss me.” And it was perfect.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lazy morning kisses before they’ve even opened their eyes, still mumbling half-incoherently, not wanting to wake up. From @zombiesolace "pick a omgcp rarepair you've been dying over pls <33 ". Polyfrogs

Dex loved his boyfriends, he really did, but sometimes they sucked. And not literally (they did that too, though), but in the non-fun, “c'mon guys, really?!” sort of way. Especially in the mornings. Especially when it was his turn to sleep on the wall side. They started a rotation when they couldn’t decide who got to sleep in the middle one night, not taking into account that Dex was the only one of them who actually got up in the mornings.

When the alarm rang for the third time, Dex was ready to pull his hair out. Long summers working on a boat meant that he woke up easily (and early). Nursey made fun of him for being a morning person, but Dex didn’t see anything wrong with that. Being a morning person meant he could always get to the dining hall before they were out of waffles and he never missed his 8 am classes. But Chowder and Nursey… not so much.

Nursey had a problem going to sleep on time and sometimes he had a problem with nightmares that kept him from sleeping all the way through the night. By the time he was supposed to wake up, he had only gotten a couple hours of good sleep. Chowder just loved sleep. He went to bed early, he woke up late, and napped any time he could get one in (and jesus, he could fall asleep anywhere). And he snoozed for almost an hour each morning. Between the two of them, they were content to lay in bed until late afternoon.

Chowder hit the snooze button, AGAIN, and rolled back to cuddle with Nursey. At first, he tried to play off his snooze problem as not being able to see any of the buttons because his eyes were so bad, but that was a giant lie, especially since he slept in his contacts half of the time. The other half of the time, his thick framed glasses sat right on top of the alarm clock.

Dex heard the faint noise of lips smacking.

“Okay, get your asses up You’re not even sleeping, you’re making out.” He lifted on his elbow so that he could see his boyfriends. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought they happened to fall asleep with their faces pressed together.

The corner of Nursey’s mouth lifted. He kissed Chowder again, then muttered, “No, sleep.”

Watching them, eyes closed, exchanging sleepy kisses, took all the fight out of Dex. He was the biggest pushover for his boyfriends, but he couldn’t help it. They looked so soft, with Chowder’s bedhead and lines from the pillow cases on Nursey’s cheek.

He reached a hand across Nursey and rested it against Chowder’s neck, thumb brushing against his cheekbone. Chowder nuzzled against it, lips still pressed against Nursey’s.

“You have to get to class, Chris. It starts in 10 minutes.”

He cracked open an eye to glare, but the effect was ruined by how happy he looked. “Sounds like I have 5 minutes to spare, then.”

Dex groaned and Nursey laughed. “I don’t know, C. Sounds like Dex is jealous. Wants in on these kisses.”

Before Dex could respond, Nursey was wiggling his way around in the too-small bed so that he could face Dex. He grinned, then leaned over to press his lips to Dex’s. And yeah, okay, maybe they had a good point about staying in bed to make out. He could feel Chowder grab his hip and pull them all closer together, humming contentedly.

In the end, they got so distracted that Chowder decided to use one of his sick days in that class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suspend your disbelief about the size of dorm beds, guys, because irl there is NO way these three could fit in one bed together. idk, maybe they're at the Haus in Chowder's bed, which bigger  
> If you follow my SMH group chat series, I added pictures of Holster/his tattoo in chapter two of part two :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt if you want. Nurseydex w them coming out to the team/their families/both (parents weekend) and how it goes? And Dex's fam aren't great about it  
> -and-  
> Idk if you're taking nurseydex prompts but can i ask for one about dex learning to process and verbalise his emotions and not just react please and thanks <3

The team took their coming out well. Of course they did. There was even less chirping than Dex expected. Nursey suspected it was because they were all embarrassed for not noticing sooner. The rest of the semester was happier than Dex ever remembered being. There was something about being able to walk around campus, holding Nursey’s hand, that was undeniably amazing.

It wasn’t just being able to show affection in public, though. It was being able to tell classmates about his boyfriend, about telling people how proud he was of Nursey. About being open about who he was, for the first time.

The thought of going home over winter break and not having that same freedom felt… well, not good. For weeks, Dex thought about the possibility of coming out to his parents. He knew he would have to, eventually, and it did seem like a perfect time for it.

Nursey knew that he was thinking about it, but didn’t say anything. That was how they were, though; they didn’t really talk about things. He just gave Dex space and time to figure things out on his own.

They were sitting together in Annie’s, papers spread across their table. It had been a good half hour since either of them had gotten any actual work done, though. Instead, they pulled their chairs together so they could share a hot chocolate and watch rage quit videos on Nursey’s laptop.

That was the idea, at least. Nursey must have caught Dex staring at their hands, twined together on top of the table, though. He gave his boyfriend a considering look, then said, “Why don’t we come out together? To our parents.”

It was actually an okay idea. There was no real reason for Nursey to come out to his mom. Dex had heard him more than once talking about his boyfriend on their weekly Skype conversations. But he had mentioned once or twice that he had never officially come out to his mom. It would be nice for Dex to have support, at least.

So, they made a plan. Dex would call his parents, then Nursey would Skype his mom. Nursey kept trying to insist that everything would be okay (in his own sort of aloof way). Dex didn’t want to be negative about it, but there was a very real reason why he hadn’t come out to anyone before moving to Samwell.

He really hoped Nursey was right, though.

The decided to do it the next day, so that neither of them could talk themselves out of it. Well, so that Dex couldn’t talk himself out of it.

Dex stared at his phone. He knew it had to happen. He had already put it off longer than he should have. There was only a week left in the semester, then finals, then one day to pack and be out, off campus. 15 days wasn’t enough to make arrangements. Nursey held his free hand in a tight grip. It helped more than Dex would admit to.

The name on the screen was taunting him. “Home.”

Before he could close the screen (again), he jabbed at the green phone button. Home, but for how long?

The phone rang exactly three times, just like always. Dex knew that his mom carried around the cordless phone with her everywhere, so that she can do all the housework without missing a phone call. He timed it precisely so that his father would already be home for the day, but they wouldn’t be sitting down for dinner quite yet.

“Hey, baby! What a surprise! I wasn’t expecting to hear from you for a few more weeks.”

She sounded so happy. Dex grimaced. “Hey, ma. Is dad around?”

“Oh, sure. You want to talk to him?”

That was about the last thing he wanted to do, actually. “Uh, yeah. I was wondering if I could talk to you both? On speaker?”

There was shuffling noises on the other end, the sound of muffled conversation. He could imagine his dad, sitting in their old, worn leather recliner. His mom would be wearing her frilly apron, the one she always insisted she wore to make dinner, even though she hadn’t spilled anything on herself in a decade.

“Alright, baby! Me and dad are both on the line.”

Dex took a deep breath. He couldn’t put it off, it had to be now. “I’m gay. I have a boyfriend. I need to know if that’s going to be a problem, or if I should find somewhere else to stay for the summer.”

There was a long, uncomfortable pause. He resisted the urge to fill it with explanations or apologies. There was nothing to apologize for. The longer the silence dragged on, though, the more sure of the answer Dex was. His mom’s response was only a confirmation of what he already knew.

“Maybe… Why don’t you talk to your brother, see if he wouldn’t mind you staying with him for winter break?”

Dex hung up. There wasn’t anything else to be said. He didn’t have to say anything to Nursey, either, who didn’t have to hear both sides of the conversation to know what had happened. He pulled Dex into a hug and didn’t let go for a long time.

Suddenly, their plan seemed silly. Dex didn’t know if he could handle seeing Nursey’s mom accept him with open arms after Dex’s parents decided they didn’t want anything to do with him. He didn’t know how to say that, though, so he sat and watched Nursey set up his laptop on their small desk and connect to Skype. Neither of them said a word about what happened.

For the first few minutes of small talk, Dex stayed just out of frame. Every minute dragged on, and he felt the knot in his stomach get tighter and tighter. He just wanted it done with already. He didn’t care about how Nursey’s sister’s ballet recital went. By the time Nursey said, “So mom, I have something to tell you,” Dex felt like he was about to explode.

Even though he knew what his mom was going to say, Nursey looked nervous. Dex knew he should be a supportive boyfriend, maybe hold his hand or give him an encouraging smile. He didn’t know how to put his own emotions on the backburner, though, even though it only made him feel worse.

“I know already know, but… I’m gay. Well, demisexual and homoromantic. Me and Dex are dating.”

Nursey smiled at Dex then waved a little bit, trying to get him to join Nursey on screen. It felt like everything boiled over inside of him. He couldn’t face the loving smile he knew Nursey’s mom was wearing. He couldn’t handle any of it. He abruptly stood up and rushed out of the room. He wasn’t sure where he was going, but he couldn’t be there.

Dex bound down the stairs, barely avoiding a collision with Chowder along the way. The front door was right there, but it felt wrong somehow. Instead, he turned and made his way to the back door.

The rubber band around his chest was squeezing tighter and tighter. The whole world felt like it was spinning out of control around him. Literally and metaphorically. Maybe it was just his thoughts, moving too fast for his brain to make sense of.

He burst through the back door, but it didn’t feel any easier to take a breath in the back yard. He couldn’t take a breath at all. Everything felt too bright and too dull at the same time.

He was vaguely aware of a voice, somewhere in the back of his mind. Calling his name, telling him to focus and to breath. Except that didn’t make sense, why would he be calling his own name. And why would the voice in his head sound like Bitty?

After a minute it made sense. It sounded like bitty because it was bitty. Dex came back to himself folded over in the too-long grass of the backyard. Bitty was crouched in front of him. He was holding Dex’s hand to his chest, telling him to match Bitty’s breaths.

They sat together, breathing, until Dex felt like he was grounded back into his own body.

“You feeling better now?”

Dex didn’t know how to answer. He didn’t know what had happened, so he had no way to say if he was better or not. He could take a deep breath, at least. It seemed like Bitty could sense his confusing and said, “You had a panic attack. A pretty good one, from the looks of it.”

Oh. Well. That had never happened before.

“Are you alright, hon?”

No, he wasn’t. Because his boyfriend was upstairs, having the coming out that Dex always dreamed of, while somewhere in Maine, Dex’s parents were probably systematically destroying every indication that Dex ever existed. Because he would have to call his older brother, his idol, and tell him how he had let down their parents. Because he just needed a fucking hug, and Nursey wasn’t there to give him one.

Bitty gave him the time to sort through his thoughts. Dex considered telling him that it was just a fluke thing, that nothing was really wrong. Maybe he could skirt the issue until he could deal with it himself. Dex knew that Bitty wouldn’t push if he said he needed time (Bitty was great about respecting everyone’s boundaries that way). In the end, though, that didn’t matter because he spit out the thing that he couldn’t get out of his head, the root of the problem.

“My parents kicked me out.”

Dex could see the shock on Bitty’s face. Dex was never open with the team about how his family was, but he expected they knew based on how he was at the beginning of his time at Samwell. Based on the Samwell Republicans sticker his laptop was sporting for more months than he was proud to admit.

“Oh, sweetheart.”

Dex felt his face contort into a twisted smile. “It’s fine. It’s whatever. It was going to happen eventually, I guess.”

Bitty knelt down next to Dex on the damp grass. “What’d Nursey have to say about all this?”

“Um. We didn’t really talk about it. We had this plan where we were both going to come out to our parents, so he’s Skyping with his mom right now.”

Dex wasn’t exactly sure that was true, though. They didn’t talk about it, but they could have. They could have postponed their call to Nursey’s mom without a problem. They didn’t, though, because they didn’t talk, and Dex wasn’t sure if that was because of him or because of Nursey.

Communication wasn’t exactly the best part of their relationship. Communication wasn’t exactly Dex’s best feature, either. They were working on it; he was working on it. It came easily for Dex to talk to the team, to everyone else, but there was something about talking to Nursey… It was like he had a block.

In a way, it made sense to him. Nursey was important to Dex, more important than he was comfortable with. All of the insecurities he had about sounding silly, that feelings weren’t important, were magnified when it came to Nursey. Sure, Nursey would never judge Dex for his emotions, but it was hard to actually process that.

Bitty gave Dex a look that said everything. Nursey and Dex had to talk. Dex needed to talk to his boyfriend about how he was feeling, because obviously it wasn’t ‘whatever’. He couldn’t just play fine, not if he actually wanted to deal with how he was feeling.

The squeak of the back door made them both look up. Nursey stood in the doorway, looking more unsure of himself than Dex had ever seen. He was rubbing at the back of his neck, eyes downcast.

Bitty stood up and made his way back to the Haus. He whispered something to Nursey that Dex couldn’t hear, patted him on the shoulder, and walked back inside.

Nursey slowly made his way over to Dex. He sat down next to him on the lawn and bumped their shoulders together.

Dex gave him a tight lipped smile. “We should probably talk.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nurseydex prompt where the team forces Dex and Nursey into a closet or supply room or some small space so theyll talk and deal w the UST and finally get together but once the door is closed Dex starts having a panic attack either bc small space (memories of bullying? Claustrophobic?) and bc he's forced to talk FEELINGS w Nursey and its all 2 much and Nursey tries to convince the team to let them out while also comforting Dex thru this and ends with them getting out and start (secretly?) dating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I deviated away from the prompt a little. Mostly because I didn’t feel like Bitty, who had been locked in a closet before, would even a LITTLE bit approve of this plan if he had been consulted. Hopefully you like it.

Dex wasn’t freaking out. He wasn’t. Except, yeah, he totally was freaking out.

“Dude, you spend your summers on a boat, how are you claustrophobic?” The fact that Nursey wasn’t the least bit bothered just made things so much worse.

“Shut the fuck up, I’m not claustrophobic. I just don’t like closed spaces. And it’s different on a boat.”

Dex was going to fucking kill Holster. Maybe Ransom, too, since they did everything together and he probably had a hand in it, too. Once they got out of the basement supply closet, that was. At least Holster turned on the light before he locked them in.

He should have known better, honestly. When he got an urgent text saying that one of the pipes in the closet was leaking everywhere, he knew it sounded off somehow. For one thing, Dex couldn’t remember there being pipes in the supply closet; they were on the other side of the basement entirely. For another thing, it was the middle of the day and the only person who would be at the Haus would be Nursey, who had a midday break on Tuesdays and Thursdays that he used to nap in Chowder’s room.

Or at least, everyone else was supposed to be in class, but it was undoubtedly Holster’s voice that he heard as the door slammed behind a sleepy-faced and half-dressed Nursey.

“Work out your shit, dudes. I’m on a mission to relieve the Haus of any and all sexual tension before I graduate. I’ll be back for you two later.”

It took about two minutes before Nursey gave up his half-assed efforts at trying to open the clearly locked door. It only took Dex one and a half before it started getting harder to take a full breath.

Okay, so maybe he was a little claustrophobic. And maybe he was a lot freaking out. And maybe verging on hyperventilating and a full blown panic attack. He tried to remember the techniques his childhood therapist taught him to calm himself down, but he couldn’t focus.

He was stuck in a cycle of cantbreath-breathingtoofast-needmoreair-cantbreat.

Dex came back to himself with a warm hand on his shoulder and a steady stream of words flowing around him. His back was braced against the door and Nursey was crouched in front of him, looking more serious than Dex had ever seen him.

“There you go, just like that. Breathe with me. You back with me, Will?”

He nodded, but couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He felt his face flush in embarrassment. Dex couldn’t fucking believe he had a panic attack, his first in over two years, in front of Nursey of all people.

Nursey sat back on his haunches, and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry I was chirping you about being claustrophobic. I didn’t know it was actually a thing. It never, like, come up before.”

The way he moved brought Dex’s attention to the thick bands of ink on Nursey’s bicep, the powerfully corded muscles of his forearm, and the fact that he was incredibly shirtless. Dex barely held down the hysterical feeling laughter that was bubbling up in his chest.

The horrifying and hilarious truth of the matter was that Holster… wasn’t wrong. Or at least, he was half right. Dex was embarrassingly attracted to Nursey. He thought it was hiding it well, but apparently not. Jesus fucking christ, he was minutes out of a panic attack and his first thought was to ogle Nursey.

He had to find a way out. Between the stress of being stuck in a fucking closet (literally, in this case, because fuck knows he’s used to being stuck in the metaphorical closet), and the stress of…. Nursey, he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. And who knew how long Holster would leave them there.

Dex scrubbed a hand over his hair. “It’s whatever, man. Like you said, never came up.”

He tried his best to think about anything except the walls of the closet, and just how tight the space felt. Dex focused on the scratchy feel of his hair on his palms, the hole in the toe of his sock, the place where his leg was flung out and it brushed against Nurse’s soft cotton sleep pants. The place where his jeans felt a little too tight, where his cell phone was pressed into his thigh.

Goddamn it. Of course, his fucking phone. With fumbling fingers, he tried to pull it out of his pocket. The flush reignited under his skin. Stupid fucking panic attacks and stupid fucking anxiety and stupid goddamn Holster. The more he struggled with it, the more difficult it was to shove his hand into his jeans.

Dex felt his heart rate rising, his blood pumping in his ears, and hot tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Nursey seemed to understand what he was trying to do. He slowly pulled Dex’s hands away from his pocket and slipped his own nimble fingers into the denim before quickly pulling out Dex’s phone. He handed it to Dex only long enough to swipe the unlock code, then Nursey took it back and quickly began typing away.

When Dex noticed that his hands were still shaking, a fresh wave of tears tried to push its way out. The anger helped him get the panic under control, just a little. He pressed his palms down on the concrete, hard, trying to visualize pushing all the way through the foundation.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed sitting that way, how long Nursey spent texting on his phone. He zoned out until he felt a warm hand cover his own. He looked down, amazed at how warm Nursey was and how cold his own was.

“Bitty’s on his way. Think you can make it another five minutes or so?”

Dex nodded. It’s not like they had any other choice, anyway. Nursey nodded back, before he cleared his throat.

“So…” Dex had hoped they could avoid the whole talking part of things, just sit there until Bitty let them back out. Apparently, Nursey actually wanted to talk, though. Dex didn’t have the energy to try to fight him on it.

Dex let his head knock back against the door. “What?”

“I’m not, like… bothering you, right?”

Dex could barely contain his laughter. Generally, the answer to that question was yes, Nursey was bothering Dex. His fake chill demeanor, his stupidly pretty face, the chirps Dex desperately wanted to be flirting but weren’t. It all bothered Dex way more than he wanted it to.

“Probably, but what specifically are you talking about?”

Nursey looked… Was he blushing? Dex lifted his head so he could get a better look at his partner. Yes, definitely blushing.

“The, y’know. The whole sexual tension thing. The flirting.”

Dex couldn’t figure out what Nursey meant. It was the right subject, but Nursey wasn’t telling Dex to back off, because he was making things super awkward, and couldn’t he just see that Nursey wasn’t interested?

Nursey must have read the confusion on Dex’s face, because he followed up with, “I don’t try to, but apparently i don’t try hard enough not to. If it makes you uncomfortable or whatever, I can stop.”

“Wait, what? But I was the one flirting with you.”

They stared at each other, wide-eyed for a second. Dex leaned forward, moving slowly so that Nursey could pull back if he needed to. He pressed their lips together, a barely there kiss. And then another, and another.

A few seconds later, shouting from upstairs broke them apart.

Bitty yanked open the door looking the picture of a southern storm. He quickly looked Nursey and Dex up and down to make sure they were okay, then turned on his heel, and started marching back up the basement steps. Dex was very glad that he wasn’t Holster right now.

He picked himself up from the floor, then held a hand down to Nursey, who threaded their fingers together once he was standing. They both leaned in. Dex was so ready to put the whole mess behind him, and maybe definitely make out for the next two hours. Suddenly, Nursey pulled back.

“But, like… How does working on a boat work when you’re claustrophobic?”

Dex rolled his eyes, but pulled Nursey back in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being on a boat is different because of the open space. If the cabin gets too tight, Dex can sit and stare out over the water, into the biggest open space he's ever seen in his life, and it gets better


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so so ok. I Adore your nurseydex fics. Can i maybe possibly request a fic? Maaaaaybe one where they try to work out living together without the team finding out that they're dating maybe? Its chill sauce if you aren't taking prompts rn or anything don't stress it starshine

With a sigh of relief that he was finally (FINALLY) back at the Haus after a long day of classes, Dex quickly made his way through the door, hoping to slip up the stairs unnoticed. He wasn’t in the sort of mood to run into anyone. He just wanted to get comfortable and maybe cuddle with his boyfriend.

Of course, that meant that he was stopped precisely four steps into the Haus by an aggressively cheerful Bitty, bearing a plate piled high with sandwiches. Dex wanted to hit himself for forgetting that he had texted Bitty earlier to complain that he had forgotten his bagged lunch on the kitchen counter (because yes, shut up, he took bagged lunches… his class schedule didn’t give him enough time to buy food on campus). And, because he was that sort of friend, Bitty promised to have lunch waiting for Dex when he got done for the day.

Dex didn’t want to have lunch with Bitty, even if he made the best sandwiches, bar none. He just wanted to lay with Nursey and get his hair played with and maybe get off. He couldn’t tell Bitty any of that, though, so Dex gave his captain a tight smile and followed him into the living room.

“Just a heads up, Dex, Nursey is already here. Gotta fuel up before whatever fight y'all are gonna have today.”

We’re not going to fight!, Dex wanted to yell. We’ve been going out for six months and none of you bothered to notice.

He didn’t though. Instead, he grabbed a sandwich of the top of the pile and shoved it in his mouth, then grimaced. Apparently that was Bitty’s stack, because it had more mustard than meat. Dex tried not to gag when he set it back down on the plate and grabbed a new one.

Bitty spent the next 20 minutes sending concerned looks his way that Dex pretended he didn’t see. That would mean having a conversation, which meant not getting to go upstairs, the exact opposite of what he wanted. So, he made sure to have food in his mouth at all times, and got up immediately when he was done eating.

He threw a casual “Thanks for lunch” over his shoulder as he bound up the stairs.

Nursey had their bedroom door propped open with the stupid unicorn like he usually did. They both hated the thing, but Nursey refused to admit it. Dex kicked it out of the way a little harder than necessary (he wanted it gone more than he wanted to win the standoff about it, and that was saying something).

Nursey was laying on the top bunk, something they started doing when they realized it was easier to hide that they were laying together if anyone barged in. Dex hated it. He hated that it was necessary. He threw his bag on the floor, not watching where it landed, and rolled onto the bottom bunk. He kicked he flimsy mattress above him a few times with his socked feet.

“come down here, asshole.”

Practically, there was no difference between laying together on the top bunk or the bottom bunk. They were both too small and too lumpy. They both knew there was no reason for Nursey to switch beds. Nursey didn’t point any of that out, though. Instead, he rolled off the top bunk and lumbered into the bottom to join Dex.

As soon as he seemed comfortable, Dex clung to him like a limpet. Nursey, the saint, didn’t say anything about that, either. He just let Dex wrap around him as he slipped a hand into curly red hair. The tension that had been building between Dex’s shoulders eased the tiniest bit.

They laid there for a while, Nursey’s hands running through Dex’s hair while Dex tried to put his feelings into words. It was something he was working on, processing his emotions instead of just reacting to them. Mostly he sucked at it, but he was trying. For Nursey (the woman at the counselling center said he should be trying for himself, but Dex was still having a hard time believing he was worth that effort… but he could do it for Nursey).

Once he felt like he had his thoughts somewhat gathered, he asked, “Why haven’t we told the team we’re dating?”

Nursey tried to pull back enough to see Dex’s face, but the bunk was too small. He settled for holding on to him tighter, instead.

“Well, Ransom and Holster said it would be easier this way, and you thought it would be a good idea, so we agreed.”

Which was true. Right before summer started, after Lardo had moved her things out and Dex and Nursey were moving their things in, Holster had walked in on them making out in the mostly empty bedroom. Dex expected him to go yelling it through the Haus, but instead, he sat them down and told them about him and Ransom. Except…

“Everyone knew they were together, though. They weren’t really hiding anything. And they thought that the team wouldn’t understand the whole them and March and April thing. I mean, look how happy Bitty is now that everyone knows about him and Jack.”

This time, Nursey did pull away enough to look at Dex, and ended up half-off the bunk because of it. He had a little smirk and a glimmer in his eye. “You wanna tell everyone about us?”

“Well, maybe. Yeah. I do.”

Nursey’s smirk turned into a wide smile.”Awww, you like me.”

“Whatever, don’t go that far. You just don’t annoy me enough to pretend I hate you around everyone else.”

Nursey rolled his eyes, but pulled Dex in for a sloppy kiss anyway. For Dex, that was practically a love confession. But that could come later. So could telling everyone.

Dex tried to deepen the kiss, but they ended up rolling straight off the bed, instead. They landed with a thump. Seconds later, a shout came from downstairs. “If I have to separate you, it’s on y'all’s head, you hear?”

They both laughed until they couldn’t anymore, then kissed until it turned into something else entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was posted on my tumblr about a month ago and I couldn't find it when I went through and did my last round of additions


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nurseydex prompt where theyre dating in secret (not really in secret they just havent told anyone & dont display pda & maybe they enjoy seeing everyone believe they arent together) so almost everyone thinks theyre still pining & tries to set them up (chowder knows bc he walked in on them making out but hasnt told anyone bc he respects their privacy)  
> -and-  
> ace dex

>I got a bingo. You owe me (1) favor

Dex couldn’t help but grin down at his phone. He wasn’t even mad that he lost their game.

Whiskey with “just fuck each other already”, two squares for the win

When someone knocked into him from behind, Dex realized that he had stopped in the middle of the quad. He quickly typed out a response, so that he could keep walking to the computer lab in the basement of the admin building, the one that was always empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys. i fucking hate this one.  
> edit: 6/24 - apparently i uploaded the wrong (and totally incomplete) version of this. the lovely, wonderful (currently on vacation *sob*) zombiesolace pointed it out, so thanks bud


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asexual Dex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Casual aphobia  
> canon-typical drinking  
> (cigarette) smoking  
> bad euphemisms for sex

“Dude, you’ve never done the nasty?”

Dex rolled his eyes, hard. Whiskey’s tone was just this side of shocked, and it made Dex was to take back the fact that he had said anything at all. It wasn’t exactly that he expected the team to be more understanding than other people, but he hoped that was the case, anyway. 

On top of that, Whiskey managed to catch the attention of Ransom and Holster, who were walking past, heads close together.

“Wait, what’s this about someone never smuggling the ol’ bone?” 

Ransom gave Holster a critical look, then grinned in that way that only someone on the wrong side of tipsy can. “Playing hide the sausage.”

Holster countered quickly with, “Making the beast with two backs.”

“Assault with a friendly weapon.”

“Entangling the lower beards.”

“Joint sessions of Congress.” 

Holster held out a fist. “Bro, pound it out for that one.”

With a solemn nod, Ransom offered tapped his fist to Holster’s. Dex hoped that their (truly awful) back and forth would distract them from what was going on, but instead they plopped onto the couch to join in the conversation. Well, they pushed their way onto the couch, which was already too full, Ransom on one end and Holster in the middle of Nursey and Dex.

Whiskey pointed in Dex’s general direction, and told the captains, “Apparently, Dex has never had sex.”

Holster threw a big arm around Dex’s shoulder and turned toward him. Dex could smell tub juice wafting off of him. “Dex! My dude. My man. Bro. We gotta resolve this.”

“It’s not a problem. There’s nothing to resolve.”

On the other side of Holster, Dex could see his boyfriend’s concerned face. Nursey knew that Dex’s sexuality (well, his asexuality) was still a touchy subject. On the best of days, it was hard for him to have a conversation about. On the days after a game loss and with a group of drunken and less than subtle frat boys, well…. Chances were that it wasn’t going to go well. 

“No, but Dex. Dexy. Dex. Sex is so good. Tell ‘im, Rans, tell him about… Shit, what’s a good one for Dex? Crab fishing in the dead sea.”

Dex scrunched up his face. “Dude, that’s fucking gross. And no, whatever fucking euphemism you use, the answer is no.”

On the other side of Holster, Nursey stood up and held a hand out to Dex, and yeah, that sounded like a better idea than having a discussion about life choices with a very drunk Holster. Dex pushed off the couch with a solid fist to Holster’s thigh, maybe a little harder than strictly necessary. He followed Nursey under the caution tape and up the stairs to Chowder’s room.

They spent the rest of the not-kegster (because apparently it could only be a kegster if they won the game) hiding out, watching Brooklyn-99. Dex could feel Nursey sending him concerned looks, but he ignored them. They fell asleep together, cuddling on the thin mattress.

When Dex woke up, he felt like he was roasting. Sometime during the night, Cate and Chowder had climbed into bed with them. Somehow, Cait ended up cuddling close to Nursey, while Chowder was curled up at their feet (probably because it was the closest to the bathroom door… he was a bit of a messy drunk). 

Dex stripped off his hoodie and headed downstairs, where he could already hear the sounds of Bitty’s hangover breakfast being cooked. Bitty was in front of the stove wearing an oversized pair of sunglasses, listlessly tending to a pan. Ransom was sitting at the table, head in his hands; his shirt was on backwards. Holster, who had by far been the drunkest of the night, looked the most aware, running a big hand over Ransom’s back.

Dex really hoped that the conversation from last night had been forgotten in a daze of alcohol. He managed to get as far as pouring milk into his coffee when that hope was shattered

“Dex, we have a score to settle, my dude.”

“The fuck we do.” Dex slammed the fridge a little too hard, making Ransom hiss and Bitty flinch at the loud noise of rattling bottles inside.

Bitty waved his wooden spoon, pointing at Holster and Dex in turn. “If y’all are gonna be fightin’, you’d best get your butts out of my kitchen. It is too early and I am too hungover.”

Holster held up his hands in surrender. “Not fighting, just discussing. Important things. Very important discussions.”

The rest of the team chose that moment to walk down the stairs. Cait had pulled on Dex’s sweater, which fell well below the shorts she had been wearing to sleep. Chowder was following behind her, eyes closed, holding onto the hood of her borrowed sweatshirt so that he wouldn’t fall over. Nursey brought up the tail, shirtless and rubbing a hand over his stomach blearily. 

He headed over to Dex and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Cait settled her boyfriend in an empty chair before heading to the coffee maker and making a mug that Dex knew was for Chowder, since she didn’t drink caffeine. She bumped Dex’s shoulder and gave him a small smile.

“What is a very important topic?” 

Holster jumped at the opportunity. “Dex has never had sex.”

At the stove, Bitty shook his head and muttered, “Lord give me strength.”

From where he was huddled, Chowder muttered something that sounded like, “a deck has an ace.” The only one who seemed to understand him was Cait, who looked between her boyfriend, Dex, and Holster with a surprised look on her face. 

“Oh. Well, okay then. That makes sense.” She handed the mug to Chowder and perched on his knee.

Holster opened his mouth again, but before he could say anything, Bitty dropped a plate piled high with his special hangover eggs in the center of the table. Ransom and Chowder both groaned at the noise. 

Trying to head off any more discussion before it began, Dex told Holster, “Look, I’m asexual. I don’t feel sexual attraction, so I don’t want to have sex.”

“But, like, how do you know that if you’ve never had sex?” Dex could tell that Holster had good intentions, or at least not bad ones; he just didn’t know any better. Hell, he wasn’t even focused on Dex. Instead, he had an arm slung around Ransom’s shoulders, trying to push a spoonful of eggs at his boyfriend.

Nursey broke into the conversation. His tone sounded casual, bored even, but Dex knew differently; that was how Nursey sounded when he was pissed off. “Yo, Bitty. Have you ever had sex with a woman?”

Bitty didn’t bother answer, just gave Nursey a look over the top of his sunglasses that said it all. Nursey turned his attention forward. “C, you ever fool around with a dude?”

“Nope.” Chowder didn’t bother to look up from his coffee.

“Cool, cool. Holster, have you ever let Ransom sleep with anyone else while you’ve been together?”

Dex could see Holster’s arm tighten slightly around Ransom’s shoulders. “What’s your point, Nurse?”

“I just find it funny, is all. You never questioned Bitty being gay, or Chowder being straight, or whether or not you’re actually polyamorous.You never tried to force anyone else into bed when they clearly don’t want to go. But Dex is somehow different, I guess. Weird.”

Without waiting for a response, Nursey stomped off. Dex followed after him. He heard the creak of the stairs, but when he got to Chowder’s room, he found it empty. It was a few seconds before he realized the window was cracked. 

Dex absolutely hated the Reading Room, but he knew Nursey found it relaxing when he was in a particularly bad mood. He could make an exception for his upset boyfriend, so he climbed out, careful not to look down. 

Nursey was sitting on the folding chair that had seen better days, rolling a cigarette between his hands. There was a tension in his shoulders that Dex hated to see. He sat down next to the chair, bracing himself on the roof with one hand and holding the other one out.

It was a long minute before Nursey sighed and handed Dex the cigarette. “I’m sorry, babe.”

“What for? You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

Dex wanted to march right back downstairs and punch Holster. He could say whatever he wanted about Dex, but upsetting Nursey was a step too far. Stress smoking was one thing. It didn’t take a lot to drive Nursey to pull out his emergency pack. But Dex had worked long and hard with Nursey about feeling guilty about things he had no control over. Nursey only did that when he was well and truly upset. Fucking Holster. 

“I’m sorry that I spoke for you. And that you even had to deal with any of that shit to begin with The Haus should be a safe space for you,not a place where you have to explain yourself over your sexuality. It’s just bullshit, Dex.”

When they started dating, Dex and Nursey only had a short conversation about Dex’s sexuality. Well, it wasn’t a conversation so much as Dex told Nursey that he was ace, that they wouldn’t have sex, ever, and if that was a problem, they should stop before it even started. Dex was realizing that he owed Nursey the full conversation.

“Have I ever told you about Emily? Or Jake, or Tyson?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

Dex flicked the unlit cigarette over the edge of the roof and turned his attention fully to his boyfriend. “Emily was my first girlfriend. She was my first crush, and my first kiss, and she wanted to be my first time. But I didn’t want to have sex. She… well, she didn’t take that well and among other things, she called me a fag. That got me thinking, maybe I was gay.

“So, Jake was my first boyfriend. Except, in the end, I didn’t want to have sex with him either. He knew I was asexual before I did. He was supportive and I just… I fucking loved him, Nursey, I swear. He went off to Stanford, but told me that Samwell was more accepting, and that I could find someone for me.”

He cleared his throat. “Tyson was in my kinesiology class the first semester of freshman year. We flirted and went on dates, but I made the decision not to tell him about being ace. When it did finally come up, it was like a repeat of Emily all over again.

“I thought that Emily’s reaction was because we were from a small town, or because she was straight, or that she was the outlier. Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that the shit Holster’s pulling? That’s the norm, and I’ve accepted it. He’s not trying to be malicious, he just doesn’t get it. Yeah, it pisses me off that he’s being ignorant, but at the end of the day, people who are supportive, like Jake, are who matter. You’re the only one who matters, Nursey.”

Nursey finally looked at Dex. He didn’t say anything about Nursey’s misty eyes, just tilted his head up for a soft kiss.

Nursey clambered out of the folding chair so that he could cuddle closer to Dex. Head titled to sit on Dex’s shoulder, he asked, “So tell me about this first love… Jack? Jace? What was his name again?”

“Fucking jerk.” Dex couldn’t help but smile. “You would love him, too. He’s-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am more pleased with this one :)


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could you maybe write something about ace Dex feeling really insecure about his and Nursey's relationship because Nursey is giving up something that everyone seems to think is so damn important, and it feels really unequal because Dex isn't giving up anything like that for Nursey. (Not that I'm projecting really, really hard or anything.)  
> by anon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note on the fic:  
> I just want to say this, anon: if your partner makes you feel like this at all, if they don’t support you, or your asexuality) in your relationship, you need to look out for yourself and leave them. Nothing good can come from it. Also, sorry it took a bit, you kind of caught me at the worst time for this particular prompt.

“Y’all, full disclosure: I miss Jack, like a lot, but I miss the sex so much.” Bitty took another sip of his beer.

There wasn’t any particular occasion for them to be drinking, but they were anyway. Dex thought that getting drunk at 5pm on a Thursday was pretty dumb, but Holster insisted he be there. Team bonding or some shit. He was nursing his second beer, but everyone else seemed just this side of tipsy; somehow the conversation always turned to sex when they were tipsy.

Fuck, he wished Nursey was there. Stupid goddamn evening lab. Only twenty more minutes.

Holster nodded sagely. “Sex is very important in a relationship.”

Bitty and Ransom nodded along, but Tango, the only one who wasn’t drinking, looked just as uncomfortable as Dex felt. “So, um. Why exactly is sex important in a relationship?”

“It’s not,” Dex muttered, and snorted into his beer bottle. Anything that was about to come out of Holster’s mouth, Dex had heard before. Hell, most of the reasons sex was important to a relationship were things he told himself, over and over. Reasons he repeated to himself late at night why he was a horrible boyfriend. Things he used to justify his insistence to Nursey that they should break up.

Dex wanted to believe that sex wasn’t important, he really did. It was hard for him to resolve the fact that he didn’t want sex, he had no sexual attraction to anyone (even his own fucking boyfriend), and the fact that he was going to agree with anything Holster was going to say.

“Look, no offense to you and Nursey or anything, but sex is an essential part of a relationship. It brings a level of trust and intimacy that you just can’t get any other way.”

Dex shook his head, but couldn’t find the words to argue. Instead, he drained his beer, threw the bottle onto the recycling bin, and grabbed another from the center of the table. Tango nodded along, but still looked confused. A confused Tango could only mean one thing: he had a question.

“Okay, but sex just seems like… grunting and sweating and kind of a big mess. What’s intimate about that?”

Bitty leaned forward, sloshing a bit of beer on the table and ignoring it. “Well, you’re lettin’ someone else see you that way, ain’t ya?”

Holster gestured widely toward Bitty. “Exactly! And you have to trust that your partner isn’t going to call you on it, or tell you how your o-face looks stupid, or make a comment about your weird body hair.”

“Got a lot of problems with weird body hair, Holster?” Dex checked his watch again. Ten minutes until Nursey was back. He could handle that (maybe even without smacking someone).

Tango nodded, still with that confused look on his face. “Okay, so why is it no offense to Dex and Nursey?”

Before anyone else could answer that question, because frankly Dex didn’t think anyone could answer that question at the moment without being totally insensitive and horrible about it, Dex intercepted and said, “Nursey and I are dating, and I’m asexual. We don’t have sex. And so when everyone says ‘no offense’, what they really mean is that they don’t think Nursey and my relationship is as valid as theirs.”

Just like he expected, a chorus of voices erupted when he finished speaking. Bitty, Holster, and Ransom’s voices all overlapped.

“Now, hold on a sec-”

“C’mon Poindexter, you-”

“That’s not fair, bruh-”

He stopped them all with a glare. “You can argue about it all you want, but I know that’s what you honestly think. And you can say it to me all you want, but if you decide to pull this shit in front of Nursey, who’s the one giving up such a huge thing or whatever, then I will personally kick every one of your asses. Got it?”

Everyone immediately shut up. Dex knew he looked just this side of too intense, but he was so sick of trying to defend their relationship to everyone. He was sick of everyone implying that what they had was less, when they didn’t even realize that’s what they were doing.

The thing was, he could handle it. He was used to it, and even though he hated to admit it, he even believed some of it. But there was no way that Dex would let Nursey have to be the one to deal with that bullshit. Nursey, who was already giving up so much to be in a relationship with him, who got enough insecurity about having to give up sex from Dex himself, who shouldn’t have to be told that that sacrifice made him less somehow.

The Haus door closing cut through the silence. The stomp of heavy boots and clinking of buckles on his messanger bag let Dex know that his boyfriend was back.

Nursey walked up behind Dex and pressed a soft kiss to his hair. “Got out early. What’s up, babe?”

Dex stood up from his chair and grabbed Nursey’s hand, pulling him away from the crowd. He wished it was next year already so that they would have a room to go to, but it wasn’t and they didn’t. He considered leading Nursey to the basement, which had become something of a safe space for him, but decided that he’d rather go upstairs, to Chowder’s room. Chowder spent more time with Caitlin than at the Haus, anyway.

Once they got behind closed doors, Dex pulled Nursey into a tight hug, burying his face between his boyfriend’s neck and shoulder. He could only be so angry about the casual aphobia before it all fell away and he just felt… sad. And he had used up all his anger.

The feeling of Nursey’s big hands rubbing along his back was equal parts comforting and upsetting. He already gave up so much for Dex, and Dex just kept asking him for more, and more, and more. And what was he giving up for Nursey? A big fat fucking nothing.

He squeezed tighter, sure that it was uncomfortable for his boyfriend at this point. “I’m sorry I’m a shitty boyfriend.”

Nursey pulled back, enough to look at Dex. He unwrapped one of his arms from Dex’s back and cradled his face. “Hey, woah. What’s this all about?”

Dex shook his head, trying to look away, to look anywhere but Nursey’s face. He felt like the open concern and love on his boyfriend’s face was tearing his heart straight out of his chest. He didn’t deserve a look like that.

Nursey tried to catch his eyes, but gave up when it was obvious that Dex wouldn’t cooperate. Instead, he pressed a kiss to Dex’s temple and pulled him back against his chest. Dex could feel him breath a deep sigh.

“You don’t have to talk about it, Will. But I need you to trust me more than you trust the intrusive thoughts about this, okay? You are not a bad boyfriend. You don’t get to decide what being a good boyfriend means to me. Nobody but me gets to do that. And I love you, every little bit of you. Got it?”

Dex nodded. He wanted to trust Nursey, and he would try, but it would take time. The one thing he did know, though, was that Nursey would stick around for as long as it took. And that he was so fucking lucky for it.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im love that last nurseydex fic w ace Dex and was wondering if maybe i could prompt smth where they talk about Dex's intrusive thoughts and he maybe gets help for them (if he has anxiety or anything say) and Nursey being supportive and Dex tryna thank him by being romantic? No pressure to write though!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, for the record, obviously you don’t have to be sex averse to be ace. In my head, Dex isn’t. it’s a conversation he and Nursey will have at a later date.

“Jesus, Poindexter, how long are you gonna be in there? I though-”

Nursey’s voice trailed off as he pushed his way into their shared bathroom. The second Dex heard the door squeak open, he grabbed for the first thing he could reach to cover himself, which ended up being the dirty shirt he took off before his shower.

Dex knew how it looked, he fucking knew. Naked and still dripping, alone in the bathroom, flushed in embarrassment, ashamed and hiding. It looked like…

“Were you masturbating?” Nursey looked horrified, but Dex couldn’t really tell if it was because he spoke without thinking or because of the way his voice cracked in the middle.

That. It looked like fucking that.

Dex tightened his grip on the shirt in front of his junk. “No! No, i wasn’t fucking… masturbating.”

“It’s chill if you were,” Nursey hastened. “We never really talked about, y’know… that. And if you do, that’s fine. Good even! I’m not really one to talk, because I do it a lot. Regularly, even.”

Nursey was rambling. Which was just fucking weird for Dex to hear. He had never seen his boyfriend so awkward and… nervous. It made something nasty twist inside Dex. He had caused that; it was his fault.

“Nursey. Please stop talking. I wasn’t, okay.”

Dex could tell Nursey didn’t believe him. He sighed and scrubbed his free hand down his face, wiping away stray water droplets that had rolled down from his hair. He didn’t really want to talk about it, but he would do a lot of things for Nursey that he didn’t want to do. Hell, he would probably chop off his own fucking leg if Nursey asked.

“Look, you know how I’ve been going to that study group early Thursday mornings? Well, I’ve actually been… going to the counselling center, okay? And the counsellor person thought that I should do this stupid self love affirmation crap. Look in a mirror and tell myself nice shit. That’s what i was doing, okay?”

Nursey’s face flashed from confused to hurt before it finally settled on neutral. Somehow, the neutral almost hurt worse than anything else. It had been months since Nursey defaulted to that stupid fake chill bullshit with him.

“That’s cool, Will. It’s really awesome that you’re going to the counselling center.” His voice was just as blank as his face.

Dex wanted to explain that he hadn’t told Nursey because he didn’t want to get his boyfriend’s hopes up that htis was something he was going to stick to. He made the first appointment without any plans of actually going, and the same for the second, and the third. By the time it was a regualr thing, he didn’t have an explaination as to why he hid it from Nursey in the first place.

He wanted to explain that he was doing this for Nursey, that he understood his anger and emotions were getting in between them. For maybe the first time ever, Dex would rather change himself than lose someone else, and he wanted Nursey to know just how important that made him.

He desperately wanted to explain that he loved Nursey so much it scared him, and that he would do anything in his power to never be the reason that Nursey was wearing that fake chill face and that tension in his shoulders. Even embarrassing shit that made him feel stupid.

With a sigh, he reached out and grabbed Nursey’s hand. “Why don’t you stay and watch?”

Nursey thought about it for a minute, the longest goddamn minute of Dex’s life. In the end, though, he nodded and sat down on the closed toilet lid.

Dex grabbed the sheet of paper that had fluttered to the floor in the earlier chaos of trying to cover himself. He waved it a little, so that Nursey could see the chicken scratch scribbled on the front.

“Any time I have an intrusive thought or, y’know, think negative things about myself, I write it down. And then I come in here and tell myself the truth, or the opposite or whatever. Every few days, or if it gets too long.”

Nursey nodded. “And the naked thing?”

“I kept getting distracted,” he mumbled. After a second, he corrected himself. “I kept letting myself get distracted. Looking at my shirt instead of actually looking at me, y’know.”

Nursey nodded again, but didn’t say anything. Dex took it as a sign to continue, so he did. Taking a deep breath he turned back to face the mirror and placed the paper back against the sink so he could read it. He glanced back at his boyfriend once before dropping the shirt.

Dex remembered the first thing on the list. He remembered exactly where he was when he had the thought, down to the smell of the nasty perfume someone in his class was wearing and the place in his notes where he had to stop himself from getting up right then and there so that he could punch something. Or maybe cry.

“I am not ruining Nursey’s life by trapping him in a relationship he doesn’t want.”

He barely paused before the next one, because they were practically the same thought. “We are not my parents.”

For his entire childhood, he knew that was how his parents’ relationship worked. His mom didn’t want to be with his father, but felt guilty about leaving. She was trapped there but circumstance, and Dex told himself every night for years that he would never be as unnoticing or uncaring as his father was.

He wasn’t exactly sure why he got it in his head that he was doing exactly that to Nursey, but it was days before he could get it out. Because it really felt like that sometimes. Did Nursey really want to be with him, or did he just feel bad about leaving Dex, pity about his poor, fucked up asexual boyfriend. But no, Nursey loved him. He did.

“I am not defective or broken.”

That one Dex found harder to believe. Most of his sessions revolved around his asexuality, and reaffirming that it wasn’t a disorder or dysfunction. It wasn’t some phase, and it wasn’t a hindrance. It was just a part of Dex, like his red hair and his big ears. It was just another thing that Nursey fell in love with. In theory… in pracrice, it was really fucking hard to believe that.

“I deserve to have a healthy relationship even if I’m not healthy.”

That one his counselor helped him word after a particularly rough fight with Nursey. Dex tried to break up with him because it felt unfair that Nursey was stuck with such a fucking shitshow. He was pretty sure that Nursey was thinking of exactly that incident, because he took a deep breath, but didn’t say anything.

Dex paused before the next one. He glanced back at his boyfriend again. He had forgotten all about this one, written in the middle of the night after a bad nightmare. It wasn’t something he had ever brought up before, or even voiced to his counselor. Dex focused back on the mirror, looking himself in the eyes.

“I am good for more than my use. I am not a utilitarian thing. I am a unique person, I have a personality, and people like having me around for that and not the things i can provide them.”

On his bad days, on those days when he felt like he was only going through the motions, it was hard to remember that the team were friends and that they wanted him around. That he wasn’t just there to fix the Haus, or to explain things to Tango, or to carry an extra sweater for Nursey. He was worthwhile independent from his usefulness.

He already knew what the last one was. It was the same every time, because it was the one thing he wanted to believe more than anything else.

“I can be the person Nursey is proud to be dating. I can be good for him. I can love myself for him.”

Dex stayed focused on the mirror, repeating it in his head over and over. He noticed the flash of movement, but didn’t realize what it was until Nursey wrapped his arms around Dex from behind. He pressed small kisses on Dex’s shoulders, where he knew there was a particularly dense cluster of freckles, up his neck until he could feel lips pressed against his ear.

“I love you, babe. And I am so proud.”

Dex felt the flush rise to his cheeks again. Somehow, it was different with Nursey there next to him. It was a little easier to believe the things he was telling himself and a little harder to come up with arguments in his head why these things weren’t true.

He wrapped his arms around Nursey’s, hugging him as close as he could. The amount of love he felt was beyond words.

“So, do you masturbate, though?”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Would you ever write ace bitty? Where after he figured out he was gay, everything felt right for a little, but then started feeling wrong again because he was ace. And then he's super worried about coming out about it to Jack because he's fine with making out and all the stuff before it, but after, he wants no part. (I'm not projecting this coming out to a partner anxiety, what are you talking about?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note to anon: So, anon. I was really, really excited about this prompt, but you happened to ask exactly the right thing at exactly the wrong time. It clashed with some real life events in the worst possible way, which is why it took so long to get to you.   
> [we’ll just call this an AU of the same conversation i had with my own partner]
> 
> cw: mention of rape (in a general discussion about consent way)

By all rights, Bitty should have been happy. He should have been ecstatic. It was his senior year, he was captain of the hockey team, he was in a relationship with a wonderful, loving, amazing man. He was out to his friends. He was finally, finally living the life he always hoped he could have been never thought he would.

But… he wasn’t happy. Somehow, he still felt like he was living a lie. Not exactly the same lie he was living back in Georgia, but almost worse in a way. Because it wasn’t the lie he had grown up telling himself, then telling his family. No, it was something that he was keeping from that wonderful, amazing man.

Despite all the joking around that the team did about him and Jack and their sex life, it wasn’t exactly the active thing they thought it was. No, Jack and Bitty had intercourse exactly once, and never again. Not for lack of trying (on Jack’s part, at least). But between both of their busy lives, it was never a problem that had come up, really. And, well, it was never really a problem for Bitty at all.

They made it work with cuddles and the occasional Skype sex… or, well, that implied that it was a two-way thing, and mostly it was just enthusiastic participation on Jack’s end and encouragement on Bitty’s.

But, somehow the fates had aligned and both men had time off, and time alone. Bitty was the first to move into the Haus by about a week, so that he could get it ready for the school year and psych himself up for being captain. The Falcs weren’t quite into their regular training schedule yet, so Jack managed to take a few days off to help move Bitty in. And to spend some much needed time together.

And that probably, definitely, meant sex.

The thing was, though… Bitty liked the way he fit under Jack’s arm and the feeling of a warm body pressed against his while they watched silly youtube videos. He even liked the feeling of Jack’s lips pressed against his and big hands running up and down his back and his sides. The rest of it, though…

Bitty was happy with just the cuddling and sweet kisses. Just cuddles and kisses. That was all he wanted. And he didn’t know how to tell Jack, who he was in a relationship, that he no longer wanted that it to include sex.

It felt like a huge giant lie. Jack had entered into their relationship under the impression that there would be a sexual component to it. For a full year, Bitty had lied about it. Well, maybe not lied, because he definitely thought that was something he wanted at first. But misrepresented.

Bitty knew that Jack was going to be there any minute to help him unpack everything, but he just couldn’t find the energy in himself to get up. In his head, Bitty was just reserving the energy he had for the impending conversation he knew he would have to have with Jack. In reality, that wasn’t quite the case, but it never really hurt to tell yourself a small lie like that.

He tried hard to organize the thoughts in his head, to find a way to explain how he was feeling without making Jack feel like he was lied to or taken advantage of. He tried to think of a way to explain that he really thought he was gay, for 20 years that’s the label he gave himself, and now he was maybe reconsidering? Gosh, even thinking the word asexual made him cringe.

It wasn’t that he thought there was anything wrong with being asexual. He knew that Dex was, and Shitty would just about have a field day if he knew that Bitty was even thinking along those lines. No, that wasn’t what he was having a problem with. His problem was that he had always been so sure that he was gay.

The slamming of the front door knocked Bitty out of his thoughts. He wasn’t prepared, not in the least, and yet there was Jack calling out to him. “Bitty, you here?”

He could tell Jack had been spending a lot of time with Marty lately, his accent was so much thicker than normal.

“In here, sweetheart.”

Jack a few steps up the staircase, probably on his way to Bitty’s room. Bitty tracked his movement by sound, but didn’t turn around to watch his boyfriend enter the living room. He couldn’t look at Jack, not if he wanted to get through this talk without breaking down before it even happened.

After a few seconds, Jack was behind the couch pressing a soft kiss to the top of Bitty’s head. It nearly broke him.

“Hey, honey.” Bitty finally turned to look at Jack and felt tears forming in his eyes. Oh, this was gonna be a mess and a half.

Jack looked beautiful, as always. Being with the Falconers, despite the increased pressure, had done so right by him. He was thicker and more muscular than even six months ago, and the off season left him with a tan that made his blue eyes practically glow.

Of course, the minute he saw Bitty’s face, the wide smile he wore fell and he immediately sat down next to Bitty on the couch (and if him sitting on the nasty green couch wasn’t an indication that something was wrong, really what was?).

“Are you okay?”

Bitty put a hand on Jack’s knee. “Um, actually. We need to talk.”

Jack slouches in on himself. “Oh. Uh, okay.”

All of Bitty’s planning went straight out the window. Before he realized he was even doing it, his mouth was spouting every thought in his head.“I lied to you. And I understand if you want to break up with me. I totally get it, and I’m pretty sure the only reason I’m not breaking up with you is because I’m selfish. I’m real selfish, Jack.”

Jack go a hurt look on his face that Bitty only saw there once before when he was talking about Kent Parson, and he had never hated himself more for being the one to put it there. He never, ever wanted to see Jack so hurt, especially because of him.

And of course, Jack was just as supportive and amazing as ever. He placed one of his own hands over Bitty’s, where it rested, clenched, on his thigh. “Whatever the problem is, Bittle, we can deal with it.”

A little part of Bitty knew that Jack calling him Bittle wasn’t strange or abnormal. Heck, he was still Bittle more often than Bitty. But in that moment, a huge part of him screamed that it was Jack’s way of creating distance, of falling back into an unfamiliar name so that he would have an easier time breaking up with Bitty.

He could feel a single tear rolling down his cheek, but didn’t bother to wipe it away. More would just come to replace it anyway. “I know that we had a lot of plans for this week, the time we have together. And I still want to spend every little second I can with you! But… but I don’t want to have sex.”

Jack’s face went from the painfully blank expression to confused. There was a little wrinkle between his eyebrows that, on any other day, Bitty would run a finger over to relax the muscles there.

“Bittle. Bitty, that’s okay. We don’t have to rush into anything. I don’t have a problem with waiting if that’s what you want.”

“No, Jack. I don’t want to wait. I don’t want to have sex at all. I, um. When I told you I was gay, I think I lied to you. I did lie to you. I love you to death, but I just don’t want… that. Ever. I think I’m asexual.”

Bitty looked down at where their hands were joined. He couldn’t bear to look at Jack’s face. He already knew what it would look like. That same carefully blank expression he had on earlier, the one that said he was upset. Or maybe he would be outright angry, rage painted on his face in a way that was usually saved for the ice.

They sat there like that for longer than Bitty thought he could stand. He couldn’t be the one who broke the silence, but he flinched when Jack did.

“Eric, look at me.” Eric. God, that hurt. “Please, please look at me.”

Bitty couldn’t deny that urgent tone in Jack’s voice, and he couldn’t delay the inevitable. He lifted his tear-filled eyes to meet Jack’s. Instead of blank or even angry, like he thought he would find, Jack’s expression was something Bitty had never seen before. It was serious and… hurt?

“I don’t care about that, okay? I love you, and I don’t care about the sex. But please, please tell me that the time we did, and the skype… I wasn’t forcing you, was it? Did I pressure you into it? I didn’t, did I?”

Bitty’s eyes went wide with horror. “No! Baby, no, not at all. I promise, I never felt pressure about anything.”

Jack pulled him into a tight hug and he couldn’t hold back anymore. Bitty started crying. If someone asked, there was no way he could name everything he was feeling in that moment. He was still so scared that their relationship wouldn’t work out, that this would end up coming between them. And he was so happy that Jack said he didn’t care about sex, even if Bitty was pretty sure he had no idea what all that entailed. He was relieved that this whole conversation was done and over with. He was nearly giddy with how well it had went.

And above all else, Bitty felt loved. He felt secure and supported, and he felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be, in Jack’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was pointed out to me that there should be a distinction between bitty calling himself "gay" and actually meaning "homoromantic". Gay can also be used for an ace/homoromantic person, but I didn't mean to make this misleading in any way. 
> 
> also: i'm considering taking all of my ace!dex (and I guess now ace!bitty) fics and putting them together. I didn't get any feedback when I asked on tumblr, but does anyone have any input on that idea? would anyone like to see them separated for easier access?


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok but nurseydex where Dex just poured out his gay little heart to Best Friend Chowder. Everything from realising it n hiding it up to recently, to his MASSIVE CRUSH ON NURSEY not realising that a)the bathroom door is slightly open and b) nursey just walked into the bathroom to shower and overheard the crush part and what happens after that?!?!? (Ace Dex or no thats down to u but also i always love all ur ace Dex fics) (also also no pressure to answer! Have a great day)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to do something fun, so I wrote this from Chowder's perspective :)  
> I guess technically this is an ace!dex fic, but only in passing

Chowder looked up from where he was studying. He was pretty sure that he heard a noise outside his door. It wasn’t like he believed in Jenny and Mandy, except he totally did, but Ransom never gave him the impression that they were malicious, so he couldn’t imagine them making noise outside his room. Which meant that it had to be someone else.

After another creak (definitely not a pair of lesbian ghosts, then, since ghosts don’t have weight and they couldn’t make the floorboards shift around), there was a pause, then a light tap on his closed door.

Happy to have a distraction from his ichthyology textbook, he bounced out of his chair and pulled the door open. Definitely not ghosts! On the other side of the door was a slightly distressed looking Dex. Well, distressed for Dex, which was two parts angry and one part really, really tired. 

“Hey, Dex. Wanna come in? What’s on your mind?” Chowder already knew what was on his mind.

There was only one reason that Dex ever looked like that, and it made Chowder almost long for the textbook he was dying to get away from just minutes earlier. He loved Nursey and he loved Dex, but if he had to talk to Dex about Nursey or Nursey about Dex one more time, he might actually lock them in their room together so they couldn’t keep escaping to his. 

Dex shuffled around for a minute like he was going to run away, probably because Dex was just about the most emotionally constipated person in the entire Haus. Eventually, he scrubbed a hand through his hair and nodded. 

He made his way straight to Chowder’s bed, just like he always did when he came to talk to Chowder about his feelings, so that he could hug Sharkie to his chest. Yup, definitely a Nursey problem. 

Chowder sat back down on his desk chair, facing Dex. Over the years that all three of them had been friends, Chowder had perfected how to talk to Dex and Nursey about problems. With Nursey, you had to keep pressing, because he was likely to get off topic (accidentally on purpose) if he wasn’t kept on track. Dex, though, needed a lot of silence so that he could take his time to form this thoughts. 

So, that’s what Chowder did. They sat together in silence, and Chowder tried his hardest not to look longingly at his textbook, because even though this was valuable time he could be spending pretending to study, his friend was more important than that.

It didn’t take Dex long at all finally blurt out, “I have a problem.”

Which… duh. That was pretty clear from the fact that he was hugging Sharkie so tight that it looked like his eyes were about to pop out. And because that Nursey had already been by that morning and mentioned that it looked like Dex hadn’t slept in his bed last night. Chowder didn’t say that, though, because of the whole silence thing, and also because that would be super rude.

“Let’s pretend that you aren’t in a relationship with Farmer. And that you have a crush on someone, but you don’t want to make things awkward because you spend a lot of time with them, and you’re pretty sure they hate you. Oh and in this scenario, you’re also, uh… You know what, fuck it. I’m so fucking in love with Nursey, dude. And it’s seriously cramping my style. What the fuck do I do?”

Chowder was pretty sure that Shitty had stashed some emergency fireworks in the basement, and he almost felt like searching for them so that he could set them off to celebrate the fact that finally one of them admitted it. Instead, he nodded solemnly.

“Well, you… talk to Nursey about it?”

The look on Dex’s face was hilarious and Chowder had a hard time not laughing at him. His eyes were so wide they looked like dinner plates, and his eyebrows practically disappeared into his hairline. 

“What? No! I can’t do that. Chowder, c’mon, man.”

Dex stood up and walked the few fee over to Dex. He put both hands on Dex’s shoulders and made sure to look him straight in the eye. “Dude, i love you. It’ll be okay. I can even moderate if you want!”

Instead of giving Dex time to respond, or think about it, or even process what he was doing, Chowder walked over to the bathroom so that he could get Nursey (boy, was it convenient having connecting rooms). Chowder resisted the urge to bang his head against the bathroom door, because holy crap his life would be so much easier if his two best friends just talked to each other for once. Instead, he opened it. 

The thing was, when three 20 year old guys share a bathroom in a frat house, you learn to stop expecting anything when you went in said bathroom. Sometimes it was clean (mostly that was because of Dex), but sometimes it was full of gross dirty laundry that sometimes forgot to grab after they showered. And at least one time, someone (Chowder still wasn’t sure who it was, and frankly he didn’t want to know) had left a sex toy stuck to the wall of the shower. 

So, at least a little part of him wasn’t super surprised when something tumbled out of the door when he pulled it open. He was, however, surprised to see that the thing that fell into his room was, in fact, a very naked and slightly damp Nursey, who scrambled to grab the towel a few feet away that Chowder guessed he had wrapped around his waist before he fell.

Nursey turned an amazing shade of red and blurted out, “I was showering. I wasn’t eavesdropping… on purpose?”

If it were possible, which Chowder would have said it wasn’t, except he saw it for himself, Dex looked even more embarrassed than Nursey was. Somehow he looked both incredibly pale, and bright red at the same time. It was actually really impressive. You wouldn’t know it, though, from how steady his voice was.

“How much did you hear, Nursey?”

Instead of answering right away, Nursey slowly picked himself up off the floor (and it kind of looked like he hurt himself, which wouldn’t be at all a surprise to Chowder). He carefully wrapped his towel around his waist, making sure to knot it tightly this time. 

When he finally had nothing to fake distraction with, he shuffled his feet and muttered, “Uh, I definitely didn’t hear you say that you’re in love with me.”

Dex groaned and buried his face in Sharkie, then immediately pulled back and pushed Sharkie to the side, which Chowder thought was very rude. There was nothing wrong with hugging a plushie, even Bitty had one and he was one of the strongest people Chowder knew. 

Chowder looked between Nursey and Dex to see who would start first, but neither of them looked like they were going to talk any time soon, which was hilarious to him, since he could barely get a minute to himself with all the talking they normally wanted to do about each other. The second they had to talk to each other, they both clammed up. 

Chowder had to do everything around here!

“So, Nursey, what do you think of what Dex said about his crush hating him?”

Nursey frowned, and wow was that a weird look on him. Even when he was complaining to Chowder about how annoying Dex was, nagging about making sure his dirty laundry was in a hamper, or that his books weren’t all over the floor, or about how frustrating it was that Dex as so cute when he nagged, he never actually frowned. Nursey’s face was always chill.

“I don’t hate him. Like, at all. You’re my best friend, C, but Dex is… Dex.”

On Chowder’s bed, Dex snorted. “Fucking eloquent, Nurse. I can really hear that poet in you coming out.”

Nursey opened his mouth to respond, with something totally unrelated that would end up getting them so off topic, Chowder was sure. So, naturally, he cut off Nursey to keep that from happening.

“So if you don’t hate him, then how do you feel about him having feelings about you?”

For someone who was 6’2” and basically pure muscle, and also basically naked, he looked awfully small standing there under Dex’s suddenly very focused gaze. “I dunno. I figured he hated me, too. Which is why i never told him what a massive crush I have on him.”

Chowder beamed at them. It had only taken two years and two months, but finally they were making progress! He gave Nursey a tight squeeze, even though it meant getting a little wet, and squeezed Dex’s knee as he passed by on the way to his desk. If it were possible to look smug while holding an ichthyology textbook and a neon highlighter, Chowder was pretty sure he did.

“I’ll just head downstairs to study, while you two talk about things.”

On his way out the door, he heard dex clear his throat and say, “so, i guess i wanna date you, but the thing is, I’m ace and-”

His best friends were going to be boyfriends, soon enough, and when he got downstairs, Bitty was making vinegar pie. Man, life was good.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random Nurseydex prompt if you want : one of them comforting the other after a bad day? Doesnt even have to be anything happened theyre just sad. :( but the other cheers them up :))) (also if relevant ace Dex always appreciated - i really really love your fics!!) -- prompt by anon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: throwing up

The minute Dex woke up, he could tell that it was going to be a bad day. It felt like someone had taken an icepick to his head while he was sleeping. Or maybe attached an ice pick to a wood clamp and tightened it until it couldn’t squeeze any tighter. Or maybe not. He hurt too fucking much to come up with a better analogy.

Dex had migraines for about as long as he could remember. He didn’t get them frequently enough to take the daily preventative medications, maybe once every few months, but they were bad enough to keep him laid up for the day. And, of course, it had to be his off day, the first day in months where he didn’t have classes, early morning practice, study groups, or shifts at his part time job. 

He and Nursey had planned a full day together. They were going to do a bunch of cliched, romantic things, and end the night with a double-date dinner with Chowder and Cait. It had started out as a joke, but somewhere during their conversation, they decided that it sounded fun, in a schmoopy and embarrassing way. 

So, of course that was the day his body decided he needed a migraine. When he could think more clearly, he would try to figure out what triggered it. Now was not that time.

The one good thing about this happening on an off day meant that he didn’t wake up to any blaring alarms or to Nursey’s cheerful and very off-key singing. He could feel his boyfriend still snoozing next to him. 

Dex carefully tried to roll over, in an attempt to close the curtains, or maybe make it to the bathroom for his emergency medication, but he barely got halfway over when his head and stomach seemed to opposite directions. There was no way that he was going to be able to get out of bed the way he was.

Nursey knew, in theory, that Dex got migraines. He told the whole team a few months into his freshman year, and there were a few days where he had to call off of practice because of them. When he moved into the Haus, he made a list of scents that triggered them and foods he had to avoid during team dinners. 

This was the first time since moving in with Nursey that he actually got one, though. So even though his boyfriend knew, in theory, how bad it was, he never actually experienced it first hand. It was downright embarrassing that Nursey was going to see him like that. He couldn’t even move without feeling like he was going to throw up… or cry. 

He was worse than useless, he was a burden. And he really, really wanted to not need Nursey. Except he did. As carefully as he could, Dex extended a hand and tapped Nursey until his boyfriend started to stir.

Nursey groaned and stretched, arms reaching wide over his head. The bed jostled uncomfortably, and Dex felt his stomach roil worse than ever. He waited a minute for his boyfriend to settle before Dex tapped him again. 

“Migraine.” He said it as low as he could.

“Aw, babe. What can I do to help?” Nursey followed Dex’s example and kept his voice low. It didn’t matter, though, because the echo of his own voice shot starbursts through his head. It was unbearable.

Dex felt a tear run down his cheek. He hated this so much. “Meds. Bathroom. Sumi...something.”

Thankfully, Nursey didn’t ask anymore questions. He climbed over Dex more delicately than he ever had. It still made Dex’s stomach twist uncomfortable, though. Before Nursey got to far away, he hit the side of the bed frame to get his attention.

“Pepto. Trash can.”

Nursey scrambled for the trash can across the room and dumped out all the paper just in time to get it to Dex. Migraines fucking sucked. Life sucked. 

The only upside was that throwing up seemed to make everything calm down a little. The vice around his head loosened, and the sea in his stomach calmed down. He was able to roll onto his side to watch Nursey make his way back in from the bathroom.

In one hand, he had Dex’s orange pill bottle. In the other hand, he had what looked like a rag. Nursey carefully fiddled one of the pills out of the container and reached for one of the half full water bottles on the desk. 

When he was done, Nursey took the bottle and put it back on the desk, then carefully laid the rag on his forehead, and oh, it was a damp towel. Honestly, it was amazing. Dex always felt sensitive to temperature when he had a migraine, and the cool cloth against his forehead was just right to help cool him down without making him feel too cold.

“I used to get sick a lot as a kid, and this is something my dad would do to make me feel better.” He adjusted the cloth a little.

Dex threaded his fingers through Nursey’s free hand on his chest. The love and care and attention his boyfriend was showing him felt pretty nice, too. 

“What else did your dad used to do?”

Nursey thought about it for a minute. “Well, sometimes he’d read to me. Poetry, biographies, satire, whatever he happened to pick out of the bookshelf. One of his favorites was Don Quixote, but he would only read it for me in Spanish. I’ve actually never read it in English.”

That made Dex smile, a little. He knew how much Nursey loved his parents, and it was clear from how he talked about them that they loved him just as much. Dex savored every little detail about the Nurse family.

They sat there for a few minutes, waiting out Dex’s migraine. It never took very long for his medication to kick in, and between that, the throwing up, and Nursey’s presence, he started feeling a little better quickly. Not 100%, not even good enough that he was willing to get out of bed anytime soon, but down to a 5 instead of an 8.

Dex scooted over, as much as he could in the small bed anyway. He gently pulled on Nursey’s hand, until he understood that he wanted Nursey to lay back down with him. Dex curled up against his side, resting his head on Nursey’s strong chest.

“Tell me more?”

Nursey checked that the damp cloth was still in place, then threaded his fingers into Dex’s hair, careful not to pull, just a comforting touch.

“You know how he’s an English professor, right? Well, there was this one week when I had a really bad ear infection and had to stay home from school. My mom was on a business trip, and my dad didn’t want to cancel class last minute, so he just took me with him. So, imagine a seven year old me, in my Reptar pajamas, schooling college kids about Alexandre Dumas…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was totally self-indulgence. I just wanted to write about someone being a loving and supporting partner to someone with horrible migrains


End file.
